Wednesday, February 19, 2020

The Idler, Thursday, February 20, 2020

A very short

July season

it turned out

THE escalators at the tube stations of London can be awesomely long contraptions, bringing you up or down hundreds of metres. It was on one of those some years ago that I encountered Ray Swart, then MP for Durban Berea.

He was on his way up, I was on my way down. We spotted each other from a distance, hallooed greetings then exchanged information on what we were doing in London, chatted as we drew level, then shouted farewells as we moved apart.

It was rather like the old Zululand custom (Ray was once MP for Zululand) of carrying on a conversation from hilltop to hilltop. The Poms on the escalator were astonished. This offended traditional British reserve. Who were these outlandish fellows?

Ray, who died this week aged 92, was one of my favourite MPs – principled, hardworking, eloquent on his feet and entertaining company.

He told the story of a visit to Britain with a parliamentary group. There they met a retired Royal Navy admiral who had been in command in Durban harbour during World War II. At the time there was a strict blackout. Enemy submarines were on the prowl against convoys that would set out from Durban for the Middle East; there was always the possibility of an air attack from Japanese carriers.

To the admiral's horror, suddenly one winter's evening the beachfront – the Golden Mile – was ablaze with coloured lights. He phoned the mayor, Rupert Ellis-Brown, demanding to know what the dickens was going on.

"But my dear fellow," protested Ellis-Brown. "This is our July season."

The admiral's next call was to the prime minister, General Jan Smuts. A few minutes later the lights all went out.

'Twas a very short July season.

Remote chance

HOW'S this for remote chance? In 1973, a teenage girl named Debra in the US town of Brunswick, in Maine, lost the ring her future husband, Shawn McKenna, had given her before he left for college. She accidentally left the ring – a blue stone with silver engravings identifying his school – in a department store, according to Sky News.

They later married - a union that lasted 40 years until Shawn died.

Fast forward 47 years and the ring has been found buried in a Finnish forest the other side of the world. A fellow using a metal detector found it.

He contacted the school's alumni association in America who identified ownership from Shawn's graduation date and initials.

Next thing Debra received the ring in the post – and wept with emotion.

Astonishing. Just how did a ring get from Maine to a forest in Finland?

 

Shower thoughts

THE shower isn't just a place to sing. Separated from our cellphones, standing under running water often allows people's minds to run free. Another selection of Huffington Post shower thoughts.

·         A major transition from child to adult is when you stop dipping chips in salsa and instead start to scoop up the salsa.

·         Good people get angry when you lie about them; bad people get angry when you tell the truth about them.

·         Thinking a camera can steal your soul doesn't seem superstitious once you've seen Instagram.

 

Tailpiece

 

THERE'S frigid silence in the car as they drive down a country lane. There's been an altercation.

They drive close by a farmyard full of pigs and mules.

"Relatives of yours?" she asks.

"Yep. In-laws."

 

 

Last word

When a stupid man is doing something he is ashamed of, he always declares that it is his duty. - George Bernard Shaw,

 

 

 

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