Sunday, February 9, 2020

The Idler, Monday, February 10, 2020

The fun the

Barmy Army

missed

 

THE cricket was washed out last Friday. What a shame. Durban has lost its traditional Boxing Day Test and now we don't even get an ODI.

When will our cricket administrators learn the axiom that when something big is on in Durban, it rains. For a One Day International you have to set aside two days. Saturday was still overcast, granted, but they'd have got through the match.

Florida Road was awash Friday evening with bitterly disappointed Barmy Army personnel taking advantage of the current rand exchange rate to the pound. Such a shame it rained. A spectacle was in store.

It was full moon – high spring tides. That's when things happen at Kingsmead. As we locals know – and the Poms were due to find out – the ground is below sea level. At high spring tide, the wicket turns to mush and the ball starts doing all kinds of unpredictable things.

You know it's about to happen when you spot the dorsal fin of a shark out in the deep. Shoals of mullet start jump-ng in the gully and the fiddler crabs play havoc with the fielders crouching in the slips.

It's when you see the gulls and gannets diving at long leg that you know the tide is in and the action is about to begin.

Once a fast bowler had his run-up abruptly halted when a giant squid grabbed him by the leg. These are the hazards of high spring tide at Kingsmead. You have to adjust, and fast.

The Barmy Army missed a treat, something to talk about when they get home. Our cricket administrators really need to plan things better. They got the Kingsmead spring tide right but they should have allowed two days for a one-day match.

 

 

Impressive opener

 

THE Sharks are in rampant form. Has any South African side ever had such an impressive opening game Down Under as against Otago Highlanders?

This was great, gutsy, imaginative rugby by both sides. The Highlanders looked dangerously like making a comeback in the second half, but we held on with some great tackling and eventually outgusted them with some very fancy running and handling.

Next the Wellington Hurricanes. Can our fellows keep it up? They're looking good, this youthful and eager side, who complement skills – especially in the tackles – with what is exactly the right mental attitude. Things are looking good indeed,

 

 

Nametags

 

IN THIS age of professional rugby, does anyone object to my linking these provincial sides to the region where they are based? The "Reds" are very much in the news. Who are these "Reds" who were beaten by the Lions? Why, the Queensland Reds, of course. Some of us need reminding. The geographic tag surely tells us something extra.

 

 

Got your badge?

 

HAVE you got your 4IR badge yet? Investment analyst Dr James Greener is "scathing in his latest grumpy newsletter about the way the "Fourth Industrial Revolution" is being punted as the answer to everything.

"Cabinet and other high-ups in the government have been allowed to spend far too much time with glib promoters of the Fourth Industrial Revolution as a panacea for the nation's very severe difficulties.

"Track suits and blazers with a 4IR badge are everywhere."

 

 

 

Tailpiece

 

WHAT has eight guns and terrorises the ocean?

Billy the Squid.

 

Last word

 

The brain is a wonderful organ. It starts working the moment you get up in the morning and does not stop until you get into the office.

Robert Frost

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