Looking for
the little
green men
THE search is on for alien life and civilisation elsewhere in the cosmos. Scientists and cosmologists are excited at receiving brief but regular bursts of radio signal from who knows where?
These are called technosignatures and the stargazers are now throwing everything into tracking them and, if possible, making contact with their originators – though British cosmologist Stephen Hawking warned before he died that this might not be a good thing for humanity.
But the search is on. A "Very Large Array" telescope of 27 antennae at Socorro, New Mexico, will be used to constantly seek evidence of technosignatures, according to Sky News.
The BBC reports a "sea change" in attitudes toward this field.
The Guardian newspaper in Britain speaks of "Three Earth-sized planets orbiting a cool, dim star called Trappist-1 in the constellation of Aquarius" that will be high on the list.
So it looks as if the search is definitely on. Such excitement! Aliens, not of this world. Extraterrestials. Would we get on with them?
But what if the tracking by the Very Large Array telescope in New Mexico should lead to Cape Town, our parliament specifically? Are the aliens already among us? What if the brief, unintelligible messages are the Twitterfeed of a certain political grouping?
Perhaps Hawking was right. Interaction with such horrid aliens, belonging to another planet, would do humanity no good at all.
Cash punishment
INVESTMENT analyst Dr James Greener suggests in his latest grumpy newsletter that those who disrupt Parliament should feel it in their pocket.
"Watching the childlike antics of the spoiled and overpaid brats at their Sleep-Over Night in the Assembly was enraging.
"Since most of the representatives are there for the money (our money of course), the Speaker should be empowered to deduct multiples of any patently misbehaving delegate's match fee (salary) – just as in rugby. Repeats to be allowed without limit. No right of appeal to any court.
"Realising that one had just used up several months of forthcoming parliamentary salary might encourage a few manners and discipline to be practised at this very unedifying circus. As the Speaker said, it's the right of everyone to listen to their elected leaders.
"Though she didn't add that it's rarely fun and will be harmful to your composure and mental wellbeing."
Options?
LAST week's item on the quirky signs at various businesses reminds reader Stephen Clark, of Westville, of another he's seen, which has always puzzled him; "Ears pierced while you wait".
"What other option is there?" he asks.
I guess none, Stephen. I've never heard of anyone with detachable lugs.
Damsels
LAST week on Valentine's Day we discussed the perils for we fellows of visiting the Street Shelter for the Over-Forties, where damsels tend to drop on you out of the rafters, especially on a day dedicated to romance and love.
This is queried by Maritzburg reader Colleen McAllister, who asks: "What's wrong with damsels dropping on you out of the rafters? I thought it would be every man's dream."
Ah, Colleen, things are not as sedate and well-mannered down here as in Maritzburg. Some of those Street Shelter damsels are voracious as piranhas, absolutely predatory and most of them chew garlic. It can be most unnerving (But they do keep the mozzies away).
Tailpiece
THE marriage got off to a shaky start. The vicar said: "You may now kiss the bride." She said: "Not now, I've got a headache."
Last word
Remember, Ginger Rogers did everything Fred Astaire did, but backwards and in high heels. - Bob Thaves
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