This could
be a day
to remember
WE'LL know by tonight if there really is a risorgimento in our cricket. The first ODI suggests it could be on. An omen: down at Newlands this time we won the toss. A fact: our batsmen, led by Quinton de Kock, were alight.
How wonderful if this crew of mainly youngsters should crack it again at Kingsmead against England, current ODI world champions. And how marvellous it would be to expunge memory of the Proteas' disastrous showing in the Cricket World Cup.
For most of us we'll know by breakfast whether the Sharks – another crew of promising youngsters – are on the rugby hallelujah trail down in the Land of the Long White Underpants.
This could turn out to be a Friday to remember. The damsels of the Street Shelter for the Over-Forties are already strumming at their knickers in anticipation of supplying elastic for a fashioning of catapults for the time-honoured feu de joie in which the streetlights are shot out.
'Erewego, 'erewego, 'erewego!
Saracens
JUST what is going on in English club rugby? It seems top club Saracens are being booted out of the Premier League and relegated to the Championship – which is actually a kind of club second division – for paying their players more than they were supposed to.
Saracens have won four Premiership titles and three European Cups in recent years, completing two doubles in the process. They have a strong presence in the England team.
They also have a strong South African connection. Former Bok skipper Francois Pienaar flourished there as a player/coach.
And now they're being relegated, apparently because their books weren't in order. The mind, senor, she boggles!
Bunter owl?
The Fat Owl of the Remove? This Sky News report recalls the Billy Bunter stories and comics about Greyfriars school, in England, with which readers of a certain vintage will be familiar.
But no, this fat owl was the genuine thing. And it was a lady owl tipping the scales at 245g, a third heavier than she should be.
She was rescued from a ditch in Suffolk, presumed injured because she couldn't fly, and was taken to the Suffolk Owl Sanctuary. But the carers discovered there was no injury at all, this owl had simply grown too fat to fly.
How could this happen in nature? Further investigation revealed the locality where the owl was found to be "crawling with fieldmice and voles" after a mild December. This lady owl had been on a prolonged feeding frenzy.
This is simply not good enough for the folk of the Suffolk Owl Sanctuary. Obese owls are not tolerated. They put her on a strict diet and have released her only now she has slimmed down to normal weight and is once again airborne.
But will she not revert to her ravaging ways now she is free? Will she not swoop again on the poor fieldmice and voles?
The Suffolk Fieldmouse and Vole Sanctuary has so far remained silent on the issue.
Tailpiece
THE opening batsman is out first ball of the over. The new man is also out the very next ball.
On his walk back to the pavilion, he passes the next incoming batsman, a pompous rival.
"Tough luck. Better luck next time, old man," the replacement says, jeeringly tongue in cheek.
"Yes. It's a shame to be right in the middle of a hat-trick. See you soon!"
Last word
Delusions of grandeur make me feel a lot better about myself.
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