Police chief
bows out
in style
DRAMA in New Hampshire, in the US. The small town of Croydon has always had a one-man police force. For the past 20 years that man has been a fellow named Richard Lee, rightfully titled the police chief.
But then the three-person town board decided to disband its police force and move to 100% coverage by the New Hampshire State Police, according to Huffington Post.
Lee was present at the meeting where this was decided, and he was told to turn in the keys to his vehicle, his guns and his uniform.
At which he proceeded to strip in front of the chairman.
"I gave them my uniform shirt. I gave them my turtleneck, I gave them my ballistic vest. I sat down in the chair, took off my boots, took off my pants, put those in the chair, and put my boots back on and walked out the door."
He walked outside into a snowstorm. He'd got about 2km in his boots and underpants before his wife picked him up in their car. Somebody must have phoned.
Lee is now consulting an attorney, but I'd say he's already won the moral victory.
We trust that our metro police management will not get ideas from this. Okay, snowstorms are unlikely but we don't want to see metro cops walking about Old Fort Road in their boots and Y-fronts after disciplinary hearings.
Shark repelled
A NEW Zealand surfer was attacked by a great white shark, but saw it off with a punch in the eye and a well-known bar-room expression meaning "Go away!"
Nick Minogue, of Auckland, was bitten at Pauanui Beach, according to Sky News.
"I was just paddling along and got hit on the side of my elbow and forearm," he says. "By the time I realised what was going on, its teeth were latched on to the front section of the board."
Nick, 60, says he'd heard sharks don't like being punched in the nose or eye.
"So I shouted at it (that bar-room expression) and went to punch it in the eye and missed. Then I pulled my fist back and shouted (that bar-room expression) again and got it right smack bang in the eye. It's quite a big eye, about three knuckles across, and its eye kind of looked up and rolled up.
"It then disengaged its teeth from the board and swam off."
Nick was left with a cut on his arm but his full-length wetsuit had saved him from further injury.
A close shave, to be sure. But a question. Was it the punch in the eye or the well-known bar-room expression meaning "Go away!" that drove off the great white?
Togged out
MORE from Rosemarie Jarski's Great British wit. Topic: Fashion and dress.
· Some people are born with a sense of how to clothe themselves, others acquire it, others look as if their clothes had been thrust upon them – Saki.
· I once saw in a French journal, under a drawing of a bonnet, the words: "With this style the mouth is worn slightly open". – Oscar Wilde.
· I never cared for fashion much, amusing little seams and witty little pleats: it was the girls I liked. – David Bailey.
· Contrary to popular belief, English women do not wear tweed nightgowns, - Hermione Gingold.
Tailpiece
VAN der Merwe got thrown out of the casino. He totally misconstrued the purpose of the craps table.
Last word
The only winner in the War of 1812 was Tchaikovsky. - Solomon Short
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