The Idler, Tuesday, February 18, 2020

Progress in

the march

of science

IT'S encouraging to know that the scientific community focus on the practicalities. Recently we discussed the way researchers fitted cuttlefish - marine creatures related to squid and octopus – with red/blue 3D glasses and discovered they could watch and make out three-dimensional movies just like humans.

Now, according to Sky News, further research has revealed that cuttlefish have "complex cognitive abilities". They can figure things out.

Their favourite food is shrimps. If they expect they're going to get fed shrimp in the evening, they lay off on chowing crabs during the day.

But if the scientists start messing around with the menu, they'll go for crab during the day, just to be safe.

Twenty-nine European common cuttlefish were tested by scientists and every single one responded the same way.

It's the same, the scientists say, as if a human knows there's dessert coming so he doesn't have a second helping of dinner.

Wowie! It's the march of science. Where would we be without this kind of information?

 

Phew!

 

DURBAN poet Joan Truscott pens some lines on our current weather.

 

It's Durban in February

And it is sweltering.

We all feel as if we're melting.

The humidity is high and

Temperatures keep rising

That we feel lethargic is

Not surprising.

Some sit in aircondtioning 

Others resort to a fan

We all seek coolness wherever we can.

Our clothes feel uncomfortable

As temperatures soar.

We wonder as we perspire if

We can take much more.

Every summer we look back

And remark the heat is worse

Than yesteryear.

Our memories play tricks, I fear.

Soon February will pass

And cooler months arrive

We will begin to feel

More alive.

Somehow we'll overcome the

Intense heat.

Despite the hot humid climate

Durban's lifestyle can't be beat.

 

 

Exercise

 

OVERHEARD in the Street Shelter for the Over-Forties: "How do men exercise on the beach? They suck in their stomach every time they see a bikini."

 

 

 

Ps and Qs

 

MORE origins of common, day-to-day expressions, supplied by reader Nick Gray:

·         In the late 1700s, many houses consisted of a large room with only one chair. Commonly, a long wide board folded down from the wall, and was used for dining. The head of the household always sat in the chair while everyone else ate sitting on the floor.  To sit in the chair meant you were important and in charge. You were the chairman.

·         Ladies wore corsets, which would lace up in the front. A proper and dignified woman wore a tightly tied lace. She was "straight-laced", which was eventually spelled "straitlaced".

·       At taverns people drank from pint and quart-sized mugs. A barmaid's job was to keep an eye on the customers and keep the drinks coming. She had to pay close attention and remember who was drinking in pints and who in quarts, hence the phrase "minding your Ps and Qs".

 

 

Tailpiece

 

THE pub's daily special is chalked on a blackboard: "A pie, a pint and a kind word – R20." This fellow orders the special. The barman serves him a pint of beer and a pie on a plate.

"What's the kind word?"

"Wouldn't eat that pie if I were you."

Last word

An idealist is one who, on noticing that a rose smells better than a cabbage, concludes that it will also make better soup. -HL Mencken