Saturday, September 17, 2016

The Idler, Tuesday, August 30, 2016

Signs of the times

GERMAN Vice-Chancellor Sigmar Gabriel responded with a middle finger gesture to a group of neo-Nazis who were heckling him in the north of the country.

It's caused quite a stir, according to the BBC, and his Social Democratic Party issued a statement that it was an emotional reaction. "Obviously Sigmar Gabriel does not regard that gesture to be an appropriate form of everyday communication, but communication was not possible with bellowing neo-Nazis who were clearly prepared to use violence."

Sigmar Gabriel meanwhile says his only regret is that he didn't use both hands.

This middle finger emotional reaction is a curious thing. It seems to have originated in America but has found its way into other countries such as this one, in some quarters replacing the traditional two-finger gesture that dates back to the Battle of Agincourt in 1415 where the French crossbowmen had boasted they would cut the fingers off the English longbowmen.

As the French retreated in defeat, the English derisively waved two fingers at them, the twos-up gesture.that survives to this day.

But, as I say, the middle finger gesture has arrived. A woman driver cut in front of me in traffic the other day, pulled a face at me as she did so and extended her middle finger. It was most ladylike and expressive, an Americanism that has crept in to stay.

And of course in South Africa we also have our own finger gesture, involving the thumb, which is also expressive but only in this part of the world. Use it overseas and it evokes no reaction whatever.

It's a fascinating field of study this – finger gestures and people's reaction – well worthy of a PhD. I once set up a pilot study in a busy street, making the range of all three finger gestures at people and noting their reaction.

But, alas, this groundbreaking exercise in sociology was interrupted by a policeman tapping me on the shoulder …"

Resources

 

IS DONALD Trump's presidential campaign in the US faltering? Satirist Andy Borowitz reports in the New Yorker that the Republican Party has decided on a diverting of resources.

 

 

"According to the RNC chairman, Reince Priebus, the decision to reallocate the funds from television advertising to alcoholic beverages came after a careful review of the polling in crucial battleground states.

"'With about 70 days to go until the election, we had to consider what was the optimal way for us to get through those 70 days," he said. 'We are confident that we have found that way. The decision was unanimous.'

"In the crucial state of Pennsylvania, 20 000 litres of vodka, gin, tequila, and an assortment of fine whiskeys are already being distributed to Republican Party offices.

"'It's questionable whether the ads we were thinking of buying for Trump would work,' Harland Dorrinson, the Pennsylvania GOP chairman, said. 'We received the first shipment of alcohol this afternoon, and I can tell you that it's already working.'

"According to the most recent filing with the Federal Election Commission, after the outlays for wine and spirits the RNC will still have a million dollars in cash on hand, which will go to beer."

Local politicos might take note because 2019 will be upon us before we know it. Stock up now!

 

Websites

A LIST comes this way of companies that could have put more thought into designing their web addresses:

·         Who Represents is where you can find the name of the agent representing any celebrity. Website:   www.whorepresents.com

·         Experts Exchange is a knowledge base where programmers can exchange advice and views. Website: www.expertsexchange.com

·         Looking for a great pen? Try Pen Island. Website:   www.penisland.net

·         Need a therapist? Try Therapist Finder. Website: www.therapistfinder.com

·         Then there's the Italian Power Generator company. Website:  www.powergenitalia.com

·         IP Computer Software. Website:  www.ipanywhere.com

·         Arty design? Try Speed of Art. Website:  www.speedofart.com


Tailpiece

JULIUS Caesar is addressing the populace in the Colisseum: "I have returned from my campaign in France, where I killed 50 000 Gauls".

The crowd rise to their feet, cheering: "Hail, mighty Caesar!"

Brutus leaps to his feet: "Caesar lies! He killed only 25 000!"

Caesar: "Yes, but away Gauls count double in Europe."

Last word 

An ignorant person is one who doesn't know what you have just found out.

Will Rogers

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