Stun an elephant
A COUPLE of book bargains were on offer at the East
Coast Radio Home and Garden Show, which ended last
weekend. They will appeal especially to rugby enthusiasts.
Springbok: The Official Opus comes in two editions. One
is a massive, leather-bound, gilt-edged page, numbered
edition – only 500 printed so far, maximum print run 2 900.
The other is a smaller, scaled-down edition, but a heavy
tome by any standard nevertheless.
Published by SA Rugby, they give the exhaustive
illustrated history of rugby in South Africa since it arrived
here in the nineteenth century, with the most marvellous
pictures – paintings as well as photographs. The written
material comes from a range of sources. Reproduction
quality is superb.
I emphasise, these are substantial books. The larger
would just about fit on a four-chair restaurant table. You
could stun an elephant with it. The smaller you could use
to stun a wildebeest.
Price? The bigger one is R30 000 (and you get the smaller
one thrown in as well, for free). The smaller one is a snip
at R3 500.
Has anyone been buying these books? Yes, said the
fellow manning the stall at the Home and Garden Show.
He'd sold two of the R30 000 ones and quite a few of the
smaller ones. People take their rugby seriously.
Have Durban people missed their chance now the Home
and Garden Show is over? No. the SA Rugby bookstall
will be at Craven Week, up at Kearsney College, until
Saturday.
This is your chance fellows to really impress the missus
and show you love her. Instead of the holiday in Mauritius,
get her the jumbo edition of Springbok – The Official
Opus. She'll love you in return.
Small differences
INVESTMENT analyst Dr James Greener notes in his latest
grumpy newsletter the surprising extent to which the small
differences in large numbers are being used to draw important
and sweeping conclusions. He compares it with the Tour de
France, where stages of 200km have been won by mere
millimetres.
He notes that the GDP of South Africa is now almost exactly R4
trillion per annum
"The key metric is of course the rate at which this GDP number
changes. Increases are good, decreases are bad. And this week
the IMF suggested that South Africa would see growth of just
0.1% in 2016. Now that is a mighty small difference (about
R3bn after removing the assumed effect of inflation). Barely the
cost of a new presidential jet and far less than the amount Eskom
have asked the taxpayer for in order to make ends meet.
"But it is positive, and so sighs of relief all round. What
nonsense! The sole target is for economic growth which is
undeniably and substantially greater than population growth. We
need big differences.
"There is way too much government happening here on the
southern tip. Public sector expenditure is almost a third as large
as the nation's GDP, but is poorly allocated and prioritised.
Minister Blade Nzimande has been told that it is not possible to
accede any longer to the demands of the '#FeesMustFall'
campaign and is muttering about inflation-linked fee increases
for university students.
"This will likely pave the way for another round of protests
getting under way as the end of year exam season approaches
and students look for something to do other than swotting."
Yes, Greener's especially grumpy this week.
Roadside assistance
NEWS from America. It was a bitterly cold night in North
Dakota. A state trooper on patrol came upon a
motorcyclist stalled by the roadside. The biker was
swathed in heavy protective clothing and wore a full-face
helmet as protection against the cold weather.
"What's the matter?" the trooper asked.
"Carburettor's frozen,"came the muffled reply.
"Pee on it. That'll thaw it out."
"I can't."
"OK, watch me closely and I'll show you." The trooper
unzipped and promptly warmed the carburettor as
promised. Moments later the bike started and the rider
drove off, waving.
A few days later, the local state troopers' office received a
note of thanks from the father of the motorcyclist. It began:
"On behalf of my daughter, Jill..."
Tailpiece
THIS fellow was writing a new book about the American
Civil War. Unfortunately he left his notes outside. One gust
and it was all gone with the wind.
Last word
Some are born great, some achieve greatness, and some hire
public relations officers.
Daniel J Boorstin
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