The Idler, Thursday, July 14, 2016

The posh boys

HOW are the mighty fallen … the Eton/Oxford/Bullingdon Club cabal – the so-called "posh

boys" - that had been ruling Britain is suddenly routed.

Old-Etonian and Bullingdon member David Cameron believed in membership of the EU; in the

integrity of the United Kingdom.

He called a referendum on membership of the EU – in retrospect an act of braggadocio. He lost

and now he's out on his ear. His successor is committed to leaving the EU; there's a real danger

that Scotland will want to leave the UK to remain in the EU.

What kind of footnote will Cameron be to history?

Old Etonian and Bullingdon member Boris Johnson carefully cultivated a tangle-haired image of

bumbling likeability over the years. When the referendum was called he opportunistically opted

for the "leave" option, calculating that if "leave" won Cameron would be toast and he would be

the next PM.

But enter a sneak and a cad. Michael Gove was not at Eton but he was at Oxford – though it

seems doubtful he is a member of Bullingdon. He challenged for the premiership and blew

Johnson out of the race.

What kind of footnote will Johnson be to history?

Old Etonian and Bullingdon member George Osborne was Chancellor of the Exchequer (what

we'd call minister of finance) and was set to replace Cameron when he retired. It's not even

certain now whether he'll keep his cabinet job.

What kind of footnote will Osborne be to history?

How are the mighty fallen.

The Bullingdon Club? Oh, that's a dining club for very rich yobbos. It's associated with Oxford,

though the university disowns it because of its tradition of members getting drunk and trashing

restaurants, then paying for the damage immediately in cash. Most places won't have them.

On the rare occasions that women are invited to Bullingdon functions, they have to go down on

all fours and whinny like a horse while the fellows blow hunting horns.

The Bullingdon Club have had a fine time over recent months trashing the whole of Britain. Will

they be able to pay for the damage this time?

Thin majority

BRITAIN'S decision to leave the EU is so far-reaching after membership for 43 years that it's

tantamount to constitutional change. Yet the majority vote for "leave" is so thin it makes a

mockery of normal constitutional principles.

In South Africa, for instance, constitutional change requires a two-thirds majority in parliament;

on some issues a 70% majority.

Now more than a thousand British barristers - many of them QCs - have written to No 10 pointing

out that the referendum result is only advisory. To leave the EU requires a vote in parliament.

The letter states: "The referendum did not set a threshold necessary to leave the EU, commonly

adopted in polls of national importance, eg, 60% of those voting or 40% of the electorate. This is

presumably because the result was only advisory.

"The outcome of the exit process will affect a generation of people who were not old enough to

vote in the referendum. The positions of Scotland, Northern Ireland and Gibraltar require special

consideration, since their populations did not vote to leave the EU."

Interesting. Many a slip twixt cup and lip.

Brexit lament

MEANWHILE, a lament comes this way from a Brit who voted for Brexit but now wishes he had

not.

He attaches photographs of Ekatrina, from Latvia, and Sylwia, from Slovakia, who were

performers at his lap dancing club. But since the Brexit vote they've been replaced by Doris of

Doncaster and Ethel of Ealing.

Yes, you've guessed. Ekatrina and Sylwia are absolute stunners. Doris and Ethel are, er, plain and

more than somewhat overweight.

"That Nigel Farrage is a bastard!" the lament concludes.

 

Rounds

OVERHEARD in the Street Shelter for the Over-Forties: "Your round."

"You too, you fat slob!"

Tailpiece

"MY mother-in- law has vanished, disappeared from the house just like that."

"Have you given her description to the police?"

"They'd never believe me."

Last word

The whole problem can be stated quite simply by asking, 'Is there a meaning to music?' My

answer would be, 'Yes.' And 'Can you state in so many words what the meaning is?' My answer

to that would be, 'No.'

Aaron Copland