Mars and the applejack idiom
SCIENTISTS analysing rocks discovered by Nasa's Curiosity Mars rover use applejack – the potent American colonial-era liquor made from apples – to explain what they're finding.
Professor Edward Stolper, of the California Institute of Technology, says a particular chunk of igneous rock being studied would have formed in a process best explained by the production process of colonial applejack.
This saw barrels of cider left outside in winter to partially freeze. As the barrels iced up, they would concentrate the apple-flavoured liquor.
A similar process occurred in the liquid magma several kilometres underground that gave rise to alkalic rocks such as this one, says Stolper.
"In the case of the applejack, you take out water and concentrate alcohol; in this case you take out particular minerals - olivines, pyroxenes and some feldspars - and you generate a liquid that is very different to what you started with."
Yeah, we follow.
It's interesting that applejack should be the idiom. Or maybe these Nasa scientists just have their minds somewhere else.
Witblits
IT'S ALSO interesting that colonial applejack – which was used in the old days in America to pay roadworking gangs - should have been known as New Jersey Lightning.
Very similar to our Witblits, which is made out of grapes.
Mangaung marriage?
THE FASCINATION of the Mangaung succession battle spreads. Spyker Koekemoer (aka Pat Smythe, noted raconteur) draws a parallel in his latest "letter to Oom Schalk" (raconteur in the Herman Charles Bosman stories) with the Wars of the Roses in 15th century England.
This was fought between the Lancasters and the Yorks and was resolved when Henry Tudor married Elizabeth of York, uniting the families and England.
"The Mangaung version will be between members of the ANC family, but fought along political lines. The process will be similar, much toyi-toying and mayhem whilst the populace and the country suffer.
"I can only hope that resolution of the matter does not involve a further marriage. Imagine, Oom Schalk, Zuma with another wife. Eish! Spear the thought!"
Eyeballed
GINO Covacci was walking along the beach when he found he was being eyeballed. Staring at him was a blue eyeball the size of a grapefruit. It was lying there on the beach where it had been washed up.
It happened on Pompano Beach, north of Fort Lauderdale, Florida. Covacci has nerve. He didn't flinch from the giant eyeball staring at him. Some might have turned and ran. He put it – so fresh it was still bleeding – into a plastic bag and then into the fridge at home.
The scientists are baffled. The most the Florida Fish and Wildlife Research Institute can say is that it has to be from some kind of large fish.
Oh, I don't know. What about a marine version of Bigfoot, the giant grizzly?
Girls' best friend
THE GLAMOUR gals must be swooning - astronomers says they have discovered a planet twice the size of earth that consists largely of diamond. The rocky planet, called 55 Cancri e, is in the constellation of Cancer, orbiting a sun-like star that is visible with the naked eye.
And it's only 40 light years away, Doll! Imagine a yellow 55 Cencri e, set in platinum! Oh my!
De Beers surely must be about to embark on space exploration.
Seahorse trade
RESEARCHERS from the Zoological Society of London have produced a charming video of the vibrantly coloured West African seahorse (hippocampus algiricus) bobbing about in the sea off Senegal.
Disturbing though is the reason for the research. It seems there's a burgeoning trade in seahorses. And – yes, you've probably guessed – the seahorses are used in traditional Chinese medicine. That's why the ZSL, Imperial College, London, and the University of British Columbia want to find out more about the West African seahorse – its habitat, life cycle and population status.
The rhinos of Zululand, now the seahorses of West Africa – is nothing safe from Chinese quackery?
Tailpiece
She (gently removing his specs): "You know, honey, without your glasses you look just like the same handsome young man I married."
He: "Honey, without my glasses you look pretty good too."
Last word
I never put on a pair of shoes until I've worn them at least five years.
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