Cabal of toffs?
ETON, the super-posh English public school is suddenly in the news. It's the alma mater of Prime Minister David Cameron and his Chancellor, George Osborne. The Labour opposition have sniped at them from the start for being part of a cabal of toffs.
Then Andrew Mitchell, Tory chief whip in the House of Commons, got into a late-night altercation with police outside the prime minister's residence. He called them "plebs", and had to resign in the resulting uproar.
George Osborne himself was found travelling in a first class rail carriage with a second class ticket, and got into a bit of a spat with the conductor.
And now a group of Eton schoolboys have put a video on Youtube, in which they rap about life at the school: "We're not too social, can't talk to women, although we try, we're just too shy."
Tony Little, headmaster of Eton, describes is as: "A self-deprecating piece of fun by some boys who are parodying themselves."
What would the Duke of Wellington have made of all this? The Battle of Waterloo was won on the playing fields of Eton.
Shaft of light
EVERY now and then a shaft of brightness penetrates the gloom.
Eskom seeks to impose annual electricity tariff increases of 16 percent for the next five years.
Can the name of the Eskom chairman really be Zola Tsotsi? Yes, that is the case.
Onward we trudge. But sometimes the step is a little lighter.
Never On Sunday
THE OTHER day we discussed the Greek amateur football club, Voukefalas, who have been forbidden to wear jerseys proclaiming their sponsorship by two local bordellos. Reader Brett Beiles suggests a way out.
He reminds us of the Greek film, Never On Sunday, in which a hooker (played by Melinda Mercouri) worked Monday to Saturday but "never on Sunday". He suggests some kind of similar accommodation with the football authorities.
Brett – who is a livewire at the Monday's at Six soirees – suggests that I might not be old enough to remember the film.
Flattery will get you nowhere, Brett. And I recall the very catchy theme song only too well.
Striptease
THE AUTHORITIES in China are cracking down on striptease send-offs at funerals. Five people have been arrested in Donghai County, in the eastern province of Jiangsu, for "obscene performances" at a funeral.
The strippers are apparently hired to boost the number of mourners because large crowds are seen as a mark of honour for the deceased. It's been going on for some time.
But the authorities have had enough of it and local officials have been ordered to halt the performances. A special hotline has been set up for funeral strips to be reported.
I wonder what the legal position is here? Those with sporty terms in their will would do well to check it out.
Strip tax
MEANWHILE, an American strip club has been told it cannot claim tax exemption because lap-dancing does not promote community culture.
Nite Moves club, in New York state, had claimed it should be exempt from sales tax because of its contribution to culture. However the state supreme court ruled otherwise.
Interestingly, the bench of judges was split 4-3 in their ruling. The minority said there was no legal distinction between "high-brow dance and low-brow dance." They said serious constitutional issues were raised.
They really should have adjourned to Nite Moves for an inspection in loco.
March of science
NASA'S Curiosity rover has ingested its first Martian soil sample. The other day it took a pinch of dust into the CheMin Instrument, one of its two big onboard analytical tools.
It's a key moment for the $2.6 billion mission. But I'm prepared to make a small bet. Exhaustive analysis will reveal that the grit and gravel on the surface of Mars is identical to the grit and gravel of the Griquas' rugby field at Kimberley. You can tell from the photographs of both.
The Griquas' rugby field has a covering here and there of devilthorns. Ergo vegetation is possible on Mars.
The march of science is relentless.
Tailpiece
A PROSPECTIVE student is being interviewed for admission to a prestige medical school.
Panel member: "Where do you expect to be 10 years from now?"
Prospective student: "Well, let's see. It's Wednesday afternoon. The golf course, I guess."
Last word
The cure for boredom is curiosity. There is no cure for curiosity.
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