Sturm und drang
INTERNATIONAL diplomacy has been turned on its head by the shocking, lurid – absolutely unbelievable – content of the Wikileaks whistle-blowing, in which some 250 000 secret reports to Washington from American embassies about the world have been leaked to certain newspapers.
The explosive content can be summarised as:
· Thabo Mbeki always was biased toward Robert Mugabe and Zanu-PF.
· Robert Mugabe is a crafty, nasty old bully and as crazy as a coot.
· Bears still defecate in the forest.
How the international system can recover from this debacle is difficult to know. What the effect will be on the circulations of newspapers like the Guardian (London) and the New York Times is even more problematic. Their elderly and sedate readerships can surely handle only so much shock and drama.
Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz …
Babes and sucklings
A SELECTION comes this way of examination answers by primary school children in England.
· In wartime children who lived in big cities had to be evaporated because it was safer in the country.
· The total is when you add up all the numbers and a remainder is an animal that pulls santa on his slay.
· Sometimes in the war they take prisoners and keep them as ostriges until the war is over. Some prisoners end up in consterpation camps.
· I asked my mum why we said old men at the end of prayers at skool, I don't know any old men apart from grandpa.
· On our activity holiday Dad wanted to ride the hores, but mum said they were too ekspensiv.
· I would like to be an accountant but you have to know a lot about moths.
· The closest town to France is Dover. You can get to France on a train or you can go on a fairy.
· If it is less than 90 degrees it is a cute angel.
· … and at the end of the show we all sing away in a manager.
· In last year's Christmas concert Linzi played the main prat. I played one of the smaller prats and I would like to have a bigger prat this year.
· Helicopters are cleverer than planes. Not only can they fly through the air they can also hoover.
· Then Joan of Ark met her end. She was burned as a steak.
· Crabs and creatures like them all belong to a family of crushed asians.
· In geography we learned that countries with sea round them are islands and ones without sea are incontinents.
· If you marry two people you are a pigamist, but morons are allowed to do this.
· In Scandinavia, the Danish people come from Denmark, the Norwegians come from Norway and the Lapdancers come from Lapland.
In vino veritas
TIME for a moral tale. A husband wakes up at home with a huge hangover. He forces himself to open his eyes, and the first thing he sees is a couple of aspirins and a glass of water on the side table.
His clothes are laid out, clean and pressed. The room is in perfect order. So is the rest of the house.
He swallows the aspirins and sees a note on the table. "Honey, breakfast is on the table, I left early to go grocery shopping. Love You!"
Sure enough, in the kitchen is a hot breakfast and the morning newspaper.
His son is also at the table. He asks: "Son, what happened last night?"
"Well, you came home around 3 am, out of your tree. You broke some crockery, puked in the hall, and gave yourself a black eye when you stumbled into the door."
"So why is everything in order and so clean, and breakfast is on the table waiting for me? I should expect a big quarrel."
"Oh, that? Mom dragged you to the bedroom and when she tried to take your clothes and shoes off, you kept yelling: "Lady, leave me alone! I'm married!"
Tailpiece
WHAT'S furry, has whiskers and chases outlaws?
A posse cat.
Last word
Every two years the American politics industry fills the airwaves with the most virulent, scurrilous, wall-to-wall character assassination of nearly every political practitioner in the country - and then declares itself puzzled that America has lost trust in its politicians.
- Charles Krauthammer
GRAHAM LINSCOTT
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