Erudite crocodiles
THESE crocodiles are reading their Kipling. Only a few weeks ago a TV network had a picture of a baby elephant fighting for dear life against a crocodile that had it by the trunk at a waterhole.
It was the most graphic illustration yet of Kipling's Just So story of "the great grey-green, greasy Limpopo River, all set about with fever trees," where the elephant's nose the size of a boot was stretched into its present-day trunk.
Now the attached photograph shows a mother elephant being attacked in the same way from the Luangwa River, in Zambia, her baby looking on in consternation.
Happily, mother elephant managed to break free from the croc, but only after she had dragged it right out of the water. She and the baby escaped unharmed.
As I say, these crocs have been reading their Kipling. With numbers of them now being spotted at Blue Lagoon, on the Umgeni, it can be only a matter of time before they start making into the CBD, looking for the city library.
Ezemvelo KZN Wildlife should set up roadblocks at the very least.
Genuine Picasso
ENGLAND is famous for its graffiti. Once in a gents' convenience in London, I noticed two small triangles drawn on the wall with the caption: "Balls, by Picasso".
Had the surrealist maestro indeed made use of that very gents' loo? Was that bit of brickwork and plaster worth a fortune? Or am I getting carried away?
You never know. A retired French electrician, who once worked for Picasso, has come forward with 271 previously unknown pictures by him worth some £50million – prompting an immediate lawsuit from the artist's family.
Pierre Le Guennec, 71, says the artworks - lithographs, watercolours, portraits and sketches stored in a trunk in his garage – were a gift from Picasso. They are not for sale.
But lawyers for the Picasso estate have filed a suit, saying they could not have been legally obtained.
I wonder if they know about that gents' toilet at Gloucester Road tube station in London.
Economics 2010
A LESSON in contemporary economics follows:
It's a tough day in a damp little Irish town. The rain is beating down and the streets are deserted. Times are tough, everybody is in debt, and everybody lives on credit.
On this particular day a rich German tourist is driving through the town, stops at the local hotel and lays a €100 note on the desk, telling the hotel owner he wants to inspect the rooms upstairs to pick one to spend the night. The owner gives him some keys and, as soon as the visitor has walked upstairs, the hotelier grabs the €100 note and runs next door to pay his debt to the butcher. The butcher takes the €100 note and runs down the street to repay his debt to the pig farmer. The pig farmer takes the €100 note and heads off to pay his bill at the supplier of feed and fuel. The guy at the Farmers' Co-op takes the €100 note and runs to pay his drinks bill at the pub. The publican slips the money along to the local prostitute drinking at the bar, who has also been facing hard times and has had to offer him services on credit. The hooker then rushes to the hotel and pays off her room bill to the hotel owner with the €100 note.
The hotel proprietor then places the €100 note back on the counter so the rich traveller will not suspect anything. At that moment the traveller comes down the stairs, picks up the €100 note, says the rooms are not satisfactory, pockets the money, and leaves town. No one produced anything. No one earned anything. Yet GDP was increased.
The whole town is now out of debt and looking to the future with a lot more optimism. And that is how the EU bail-out package works
Tailpiece
MY ATTRACTIVE female neighbour is completely paranoid. She thinks I'm following or even stalking her, she is worried that I may be obsessed with her and any time she hears a noise in her house she is … purified? Oh, wait: petrified. Sorry, it's not easy reading a diary through binoculars from a tree.
Last word
It is well that war is so terrible - otherwise we would grow too fond of it.
GRAHAM LINSCOTT
No comments:
Post a Comment