Who punched the Pres?
I SUPPOSE it's gratifying to know the US president stays in shape but it was surprising all the same to learn that he actually plays basketball. He had to have 12 stitches in his lip after being elbowed in a game he was playing at Fort McNair, in Washington.
Apparently he had been playing with "friends and family" in a 10-person match when the accident happened. Family? Would that include Michelle and the girls?
Who elbowed him in the mouth? At least we can be sure it wasn't Sarah Palin. She doesn't count as a friend and Obama's injuries would probably have been rather more severe had she encountered him on a basketball court.
Italian opera
THE ANTICS of Italian prime minister Silvio Berlusconi continue to receive attention in Private Eye, the British satirical magazine, in the category "Opera Highlights – BBC Three".
"Direct from La Scandala in Milan, O Salome Mio! By Berlusconi.
"Act One: Silvio, the Robber Baron, is in high spirits as he welcomes his entourage of beautiful girls to celebrate the anniversary of his divorce at the Pallazio Fornicatione. His eye is immediately taken by the curvaceous form of the virginal 17-year-old Bellyrina, 'La BungaBunga'. He asks her to dance for him and she performs the seductive Dance of the Seven Thousand Euros. He sings the haunting aria La Donna Tell Anyone About This. She is so moved by his song and his gift of a diamond necklace that she agrees to spend the night with the Robber Baron along with several other exotic dancers.
"Act Two: The newspapers are full of Silvio's latest conquests but the Robber Baron laughs off the accusations. He sings the aria Sono Il Politico Ridiculoso (The Laughing Politician) but an angry crowd beneath the window assembles throwing stones and crying for the Baron to resign. They sing the strident chorus Bastardo Corrupto (Is This Not an ppropriate Time For You To Resign, Mr Prime Minister, No Offence).
"Will the Baron escape? Tune in tomorrow for our next opera Silvio Escapado (The Escape of Silvio)."
Africa hand
VETERAN Africa correspondent and military writer Al Venter is mightily impressed with our road network. He compares it with Mozambique, where it recently took him 10 hours to cover about 200 km as a passenger in a truck from the Malawi border post at Mulanji.
When he had to change trucks, he found the new vehicle – a left-hand drive - being loaded with 30 tons of wheat while the driver drank neat gin "to stay awake."
Al has been around a bit and decided a left-hand drive truck with a 30-ton load and a driver full of gin was not a good bet. He flew on instead to his planned diving expedition at Nacala.
Al is an old Africa hand who now lives in Surrey, England, but keeps coming back and writing books – he has three in production at present. He turned 72 in Pretoria last week and is currently leading me astray in various Durban watering holes.
Not a flicker
THE POKER face is essential to the game. Not a flicker of elation or chagrin must be shown at the hand dealt. It's a game of bluff and nerve.
A story comes this way of two couples who played regularly. Over time, an illicit relationship began to develop between one of the men and the other one's wife – touching hands under the table, footsie-footsie. But they betrayed not a thing by facial expression.
Then one evening when they were together in the kitchen during a break, they arranged a tryst next day.
"But it'll cost you R500," she said.
"Right on," he said.
Next afternoon he turned up at the house. The affair was consumated. R500 changed hands.
Then the husband was home.
"Was Joe here this afternoon?"
"Yes," she said with her best poker face. "He dropped in very briefly."
"Did he give you R500."
"He did." The poker face was without expression.
"Funny that. He came to my office this morning, borrowed R500 and said he drop it off with you this afternoon."
Now that's a poker player.
Tailpiece
"My ex-husband wants to marry me again."
"That's flattering."
"Not really. I think he's after the money I married him for."
Last word
There is no safety in numbers, or in anything else.
GRAHAM LINSCOTT
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