A sign
of the
times?
BREXIT latest. If you're getting sick of the subject, it seems you're not the only one. The New Yorker reports that Queen Elizabeth is moving to Canada. Her corgis have already been flown to Toronto.
She is expected to take up full-time residence there by the end of the week, Buckingham Palace confirmed yesterday.
"The Queen offered no reason for the move, but the palace indicated that she had been packing her bags for the past several weeks.
"In a brief farewell statement to the British people, the Queen explained why she had chosen Canada as her new home. 'We speak the language, and our picture's on the money there,' she said.
She had "no regrets" about abdicating the throne to her son, Charles.
"At this point, there's nothing he can do to make the UK more messed up than it already is," she said.
This, of course, is satirist Andy Borowitz again. I wonder, could he perhaps be close to the mark this time.
Card lady
HAPPY birthday, Joyce! Veteran Mercury reader Joyce Steadman, who has been reading this newspaper for the past 70 years, turned 99 yesterday.
She's a regular at gym and her son, Rob, sends me a video of her doing squats the day before her birthday.
Joyce is known for the beautiful hand-painted Christmas cards she sends out every year, her mailing list including the Idler. May those cards keep on coming.
Garth Williamson
THIS was the start of Natal rugby's glory days. They drew 6-6 with the All Blacks at Kings Park in 1960.
Now, I'm told by reader Clive Raaff, one of the heroes of that encounter died last month.
Garth Williamson won 38 Natal caps (at a time inter-provincial matches were sparse) and played one game for the Junior Springboks.
He played scrumhalf to the great Keith Oxlee. Who's still around from that side?
Trix Truter (left wing) is a regular at a monthly get-together we have of players of yesteryear. Who can forget those inside offloads Oxlee would make to him, leaving the opposition totally bamboozled.
Ormie Taylor (right wing) is somewhere in the Midlands. I saw him at Maritzburg Collegians not that long ago, looking fit as a flea.
Nick Labuschange (hooker – and also an England international) is still around. Who else?
Yes, what a match that was. Clive recalls giant Kiwi lock Colin Meads making a thundering run down the touchline only to dropped by a heroic tackle by Garth Williamson.
Them wuz the days.
Seagull swoops
HORROR story. A seagull swooped on a garden in Becca Hill, Devonshire, England, and made off with a tiny pet chihuahua in its beak. The six-year-old girl who owns it is distraught, according to Sky News..
They've advertised and hunted everywhere, in case it got dropped but no trace of the chihuahua. Those Devon seagulls mean business.
The girl's parents will no doubt replace the dog. This time they should opt for a rottweiler. They might end up with a seagull shortage in Devon.
Tailpiece
"DOCTOR, I'm not feeling too good. Do you think it might be my diet?"
"What have you been eating?"
"Snooker balls. Two reds for breakfast, Three blues for lunch. And five browns and a pink for dinner."
"I think I see the problem. You're not getting enough greens."
Last word
Horse sense is the thing a horse has which keeps it from betting on people. - W C Fields
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