It's the
Spirit of
The Blitz
We shall fight on the beaches, we shall fight on the landing grounds, we shall fight in the fields and in the streets, we shall fight in the hills; we shall never surrender …
THE Brits are seized with the spirit of the Blitz. As the pound sterling plummets, soon to be followed by house values, the war cabinet meets to discuss emergency measures to stave off calamity – to keep the factories running, to reap the harvests, to put food on tables, to stock the hospitals with medicines.
War cabinet? Yes, that's really what they're calling it these days as the hours and minutes tick away toward October 31 when the Brits will finally and irrevocably crash out of the European Union without a negotiated settlement and – so far anyway – no real attempt to negotiate anything.
Patriotism! Defiance! They'll rally behind Boris. They'll see it through, they'll defeat the dark forces.
War? Dark forces? Who's the enemy? Er, actually there is no enemy. This emergency is totally self-inflicted.
Hoo boy, you couldn't make it up. The Bank of England, the Confederation of British Industry, all kinds of people have been warning of the folly of a no-deal Brexit. The CBI also warns that nothing near enough has been done to limit the damage iof a crash-out. But who listens to such curmudgeons?
Drama lies ahead. Will the House of Commons come to the rescue, blowing Brexit out of the water? Will the Queen lock Boris in the Tower of London? Anything could happen.
We watch from a distance as the Brits tear at their entrails. 'Tis an astonishing and alarming spectacle.
Forgotten record
WHAT rugby side has a 100% Test match series record of success against the All Blacks?
Well, they're not around anymore. You have to go back a bit. It was 70 years ago this week that the combined side of Northern and Southern Rhodesia (now Zambia and Zimbabwe) beat the All Blacks 10- 8 in Bulawayo.
They played again a few days later in Salisbury (now Harare) and drew 3-3. This meant the All Blacks lost the series (which was tacked on to a tour of South Africa).
The two sides never played again, meaning the 100% record stays intact.
Incompatible
Overheard in the Street Shelter for the Over-Forties: "My ex-boyfriend and I weren't compatible. I'm a Libra and he's a jerk."
Flitting in
THE images flit in on the smartphone. One is of Joseph Stalin, the Soviet strongman. Caption: "Joseph Stalin should have known communism wouldn't work. I mean there were red flags everywhere."
Another is of Queen Elizabeth and Boris Johnson at Buckingham Palace as he is invited to form a government. Speaks bubble from the queen: "" I thought you went back to America."
Yes, an uncanny likeness – tall, bulky, mop of blond hair – between Johnson and Donald Trump.
The Nkandla party line is all very well but it doesn't give us pictures.
Tailpiece
THIS fellow is showing some friends around his new apartment. "What's this for?" one asks, indicating a large brass gong and a hammer up against a wall.
"It's a talking clock."
To demonstrate, he picks up the hammer and strikes the gong an ear-shattering blow.
A scream comes through the wall:!" "Stop that you idiot – it's two o'clock in the morning!"
Last word
From now on, ending a sentence with a preposition is something up with which I will not put. - Sir Winston Churchill
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