Thursday, August 29, 2019

The Idler, Friday, August 16, 2019

Focus on the

Land of the Long

White Underpants

CAN the Sharks confound the statisticians and make it two in a row against the Lions this weekend? After last weekend's performance against top-of-the-log Free State, anything can happen.

Yet, just as it was during the southern hemisphere Rugby Championship, and is again now in the Currie Cup, attention is focused ahead on the looming World Cup tournament in Japan.

Yes, the Boks are playing Argentina tomorrow in a friendly at Loftus but it's the second-string Boks and there's nothing at stake. The focus is on Eden Park, down in the Land of the Long White Underpants, where the Aussies are playing the All Blacks s in the Bledisloe Cup.

But it's not the Bledisloe Cup we're concerned about, we want to know if the All Blacks have a reply to their drubbing at the hands of Australia. Can their forwards regroup and dominate?

Because, of course, it's the All Blacks the Boks meet in their opening match of the World Cup in just a matter of weeks now.

Yet, in all this flux, there's a constant. The damsels of the Street Shelter for the Over Forties will be out in force, eager to volunteer their knicker elastic for a fashioning of catapults for the traditional celebratory feu de joie in which the streetlights are shot out.

'Erewego, 'erewego, 'erewego!

 

Seagulls

HOW to stop a seagull pinching your sandwich if you're having a picnic on the beach – you stare fixedly at him. He'll back down and walk away.

Gulls can't handlle eye contact, researchers at the University of Exeter, in the West Country of England, have discovered.

They've been putting in some intensive research on the local beaches. Gulls are voracious and aggressive eaters but when a human fixes the gimlet eye on them, they get hesitant and walk away. But as soon as the human looks away again, they dart back for the grub. Then back off when they get another hard stare. Some amusing footage of this research has been aired on BBC and Sky TV.

It's good to know that such useful research is being conducted. We await follow-up research into how, while you're staring at seagulls, you can avoid the fox terrier stealing your boerewors.

 

Music, music, music …

THE world of music. A fellow in Portland, Oregon, in the US, was learning to play the saxophone. But whenever he practised in front of his dog it went beserk and started chewing his mouthpiece reeds, according to Huffington Post.

So Rick Hermann tried driving out into the country and playing to the cows. He was a sensational hit.

He started playing a handful of tunes - including George Michael's Careless Whisper ― and a large group of cows scattered throughout a field walked over and gathered round him.

"I thought they might be curious," he says. "I guess I didn't expect them to crowd the fence so much."

Videos of the performances have won Hermann numerous fans on Twitter, including legendary saxophonist Kenny G.

Opportunity beckons for Rick Herman. Could he become a Pied Piper of the milking shed?

 

Tailpiece

A GIRL who marries a man for his money spends the rest of her life looking for a little change.

Last word

I no longer prepare food or drink with more than one ingredient. - Cyra McFadden
 

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