Two instances
Of infantile
driving
SWEETIES time … four-year-old Sebastian Swenson snitched his great-grandfather's car keys, got into his SUV and drove about 2km through rush-hour traffic, looking for somewhere to buy sweets.
It happened in Blaine, Minnesota, in the US, according to Sky News.
Despite being barely able to see over the steering wheel, Sebastian reversed out of the driveway and drove through a number of winding residential streets.
Nobody was hurt, but the car and some mailboxes were damaged. The young driver also had a small bump with a tree, leaving behind a part of the car's front bumper in a neighbour's garden.
Then he turned on to a busy, four-lane avenue. People saw the SUV driving erratically at speeds up to 25km/h before pulling into the car park of a petrol station – where sweets could be bought.
Fortunately the cops had also spotted what was going on and took over.
"I've never seen a driver this young before, operating a vehicle," said Blaine police captain Mark Boerboom.
Sebastian's shocked family will now keep all car keys locked away. Yes, good idea. Once these small kids experience F1, they're hooked on it.
Toy truck
Meanwhile, something of a reversal. In Walhalla, South Carolina (still in the US), cops found a 25-year-old woman driving down the road in an electric toy truck.
She was driving this toy truck erratically because she was somewhat plastered, according to Huffington Post. But they couldn't charge her with driving under the influence because it seems for that to stick you have to have been behind the wheel of a proper vehicle, not a battery-driven toy truck.
So the cops charged her instead with public intoxication.
We're not told what led up to this curious reversion to toddler days. Was it a dare? The court case will no doubt be interesting.
Hitchhikers
What is it with these hitchhiking reptiles? A snake known as a southern black racer got into a fellow's backpack in Florida and slithered out only as he checked into holiday digs in Maui, Hawaii.
It caused a bit of a flap, according to Huffington Post, because Hawaii has no indigenous snakes. Introduced, they have no natural predators and they're a threat to the island's native species.
If this non-venomous southern black racer was planning a Hawaiian holiday it was out of luck. Police and wildlife officers caught it and presumably will stuff it in the backpack of a holidaymaker heading back to the mainland.
This was a small critter, just 0.3m long (about a foot, to use golf terminology). Fully grown they are about 1.8m (like a tall man) and you notice if they creep into your backpack.
Meanwhile, a bright green Greek lizard has fetched up in South Wales after sneaking into a holidaymaker's suitcase.
He was discovered as the holidaymaker unpacked in Lakeston. She called the Royal Society for the Protection of Animals – and this reptile does get a holiday. It's been taken to Silent World, which specialises in exotic creatures.
But then who – or what lizard - wants a holiday in rainy South Wales?
Tailpiece
THIS fellow has a sign on his front door: "Beware of the budgie!"
A passer-by knocks: "I'm curious," he says. "I didn't know a budgie could be dangerous."
"Normally they're not. But this one whistles for the Rottweiler."
Last word
At times one remains faithful to a cause only because its opponents do not cease to be insipid.
Friedrich Nietzsche
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