The Idler, Moinday, June 10, 201`9

Support

pours in

for Proteas

 

IT'S the West Indies today. Can the Proteas turn things around? Support comes pouring in from readers.

"Don't be too harsh on our boys," says Charles Botha. "Yes, the batting is brittle and the bowling mostly lacks wicket-taking penetration (besides the bowlers also being very injury-prone).

"The fielding is undeniably sloppy and vital catches are missed.

"Our captain and coaches seem to lack vision when much needed.

"But hey! Except for those few minor faults, they're a great team!"

Another reader asks: "What's the difference between samoosas and the Proteas?

"Samoosas can give you the runs."

Meanwhile, my old mate Bobby Freeman, regimental sergeant-major of the Natal Mounted Rifles, tells me of a court case in Johannesburg where a six-year old boy, who said he was being beaten by both his parents, was placed in the custody of the Proteas "because they never beat anyone."

Some might suspect that Bobby is having us on, but who could doubt the absolute veracity of a regimental sergeant-major?

 

Spending spree

INVESTMENT analyst Dr James Greener notes in his latest grumpy newsletter that in April the government spent almost twice as much as it collected in taxes.

"This latest number caused the rolling 12-month deficit to breach the quarter trillion-rand mark (R253bn) for the first time. And our finance minister is posting You Tube videos of How to Cook. Folks, this is way beyond Mickey Mouse territory."

He notes also that unlike most of us who grasp that banks are not as they appear in the cartoons, with vaults full of money and gold, many of the country's leaders seem to be sure that if they could only get the keys to the Reserve Bank they need never work again.

"There's a dreadful squabble going on about who should 'own' this institution with precious little understanding of what that means."

Greener also notes that while the crime rate soars, a recent official response has been the old whine about security guards' uniforms being too like those of the police.

"Now avoirdupois is often a better guide to whether it is a cop (large) or a security guard (thin) who has turned up to help but regardless of who it is, the baddies will be disappointed and the good guys will be pleased.

"However the key point is that if the police and the courts were as effective as we all need and want them to be, then demand for private armed response would diminish."

 

Plastics ban

TANZANIA has banned the use of plastic bags. People found using them are liable to be fined the equivalent of R1 300 or spend a week in jail. People who manufacture or import plastic bags can be fined R6.4 million or spend two years in jail.

This is drastic. The Tanzanians clearly are serious about ending this plastics scourge that is choking our oceans and clogging our drainage systems.

President John Magufuli marked the new era with a visit to a fish market sporting a wicker basket.

Tanzania is now the 34^th African country to act against plastics. Why don't we became the 35^th?

We'll let Cyril off on the fish market jaunt with wicker basket.

 

Tailpiece

A PROTEAS cricketer's wife phones the ground, gets through to the dressing room and asks for her husband.

"He's just walking out to bat."

"Okay, I'll hold the line."

 

 

Last word

An inventor is simply a fellow who doesn't take his education too seriously. - Charles F Kettering