The Idler, Monday, May 27, 2019

Those

backline

fliers

 

OLE. Ole, Ole! What a corker of match this was. It was the backline fliers who did it for the Sharks on Saturday – Curwin Bosch and Makazole Mapimpi with their dream interceptions – except it wasn't just them. The forwards scrummed and mauled like men possessed, the tacklers in all departments were simply superb.

Both interceptions came as the Lions were putting on really heavy pressure, swarming for our line, Bosch turning things round completely as he snatched the ball at blistering pace, Mapimpi leaping high, right on his own line, to take it at an altitude roughly approximating Kilimanjaro. Both ran the length of the field to score. Magnificent stuff and just reward for some gritty defence that had somehow kept the Lions out.

This game was anything but one-sided. The Lions were still running at us until the bitter end. Most gratifying was that the Sharks at last played to their true potential.

The play-offs are still up for grabs. But whatever does happen from here, at last the Sharks have clicked at home. It's been a long time a-waiting.

 

 

Mayday, mayday

 

DRAMA coming up at Westminster. British prime minister Theresa May accepted the poisoned chalice of engineering a Brexit that might actually have been impossible from the start. Will the poison be any the less deadly for her successor?

 

The fundamental fault – which should have been obvious from the start – is that if a country leaves the EU customs union, a hard border has to come into being. The EU itself insists on that.

 

But the border between the Republic of Ireland and Northern Ireland (part of the UK) could not be softer. It is fundamental to the Good Friday Agreement, which has all but ended centuries of sectarian strife. (Though it's beginning to simmer again with the Brexit uncertainty).

 

Why not just cancel the border and merge Northern Ireland with the Republic?

 

Several good reasons. The Republic does not want to administer Northern Ireland, which costs the UK about £18 billion (R329bn) a year. Nor does it want to handle the sectarian conflict which would almost certainly be unleashed.

 

And what British prime minister would wish to preside over a break-up of the UK?

 

Can this circle be squared?

 

Theresa May was tearful as she announced her resignation outside No 10 Downing Street. Perhaps the tears were also for the inheritor of the poisoned chalice.

 

 

Canute incident

 

HAS British statecraft ever shown itself to be more inept than over this Brexit issue? It's difficult to think of an instance.

There was King Canute ordering the tide to retreat. But then, to be fair to Canute, he was merely proving to his blindly supportive courtiers that he did not have the supernatural power to control the tides that they believed he had.

Yes, today's lot probably have the booby prize.

 

 

Smuts, Churchill

 

IN THE context of Brexit, it's interesting to recall that it was our own prime minister, General Smuts, who first suggested in the House of Commons (he'd been a member of the British war cabinet in World Wars I and II) that Britain's future lay with Europe.

Churchill spoke of the desirability of a "United States of Europe".

Smuts and Churchill then. Boris Johnson and company today.

 

 

Tailpiece

 

WHY'S the sea so restless?

Wouldn't you be restless with crabs all over your bottom?

 

Last word

 

Anything not worth doing is worth not doing well. Think about it. - Elias Schwartz