Check the
canteen
menu
A UNIVERSITY library in Australia was evacuated over a suspected gas leak. Firefighters were called to the University of Canberra, according to Sky News, after a "strong smell of gas" was reported - with hundreds of students leaving the building within minutes.
After an hour, the source of the foul odour was discovered: a durian fruit which had been left in a bin near an air vent on the second floor.
The durian, once known as the "king of fruits", is loved in parts of the Far East for its sweet and savoury flavour - especially in China.
But the fruit has a reputation for its potent stench. Food writer Richard Sterling says its odour of "turpentine and onions, garnished with a gym sock" can be smelled from a distance.
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The powerful pong has prompted hotels and public transport systems across Asia to ban durians altogether.
Check the canteen menu. Don't choose the durian salad.
Synonym buns
FACEBOOK traffic: "Someone posted they had just baked some synonym buns. I replied, you mean just like the ones grammar used to make? Now I'm blocked."
Gupta nostalgia
OVERHEARD in the Street Shelter for the Over-Forties: "It's times like these that you miss the Guptas. By now we'd have known who all our cabinet ministers are going to be."
Trained snake?
A FELLOW in Lawton, Oklahoma, in the US, pressed the doorbell of his friend's front door. As the friend opened the door, a snake leaped from the porch light and bit the visitor in the face, according to Huffington Post.
They rushed him to hospital but it turned out the snake was not venomous. The hospital cleaned up the bite wound and put the guy on antibiotics. All was well.
Was this a case of mistaken identity on the part of a highly-trained snake? Some people will go to great lengths to discourage door-to-door encyclopaedia salesmen.
Growing old
MORE from American cowboy, humorist, sage and newspaper columnist Will Rogers. Topic: Growing Older:
· Eventually you will reach a point when you stop lying about your age and start bragging about it.
· The older we get, the fewer things seem worth waiting in line for.
· Some people try to turn back their odometers. Not me; I want people to know why I look this way. I've travelled a long way, and some of the roads weren't paved.
· When you are dissatisfied and would like to go back to youth, think of algebra.
· You know you are getting old when everything either dries up or leaks.
· I don't know how I got over the hill without getting to the top.
· One of the many things no one tells you about ageing is that it's such a nice change from being young.
· One must wait until evening to see how splendid the day has been.
· Being young is beautiful, but being old is comfortable and relaxed.
· Long ago, when men cursed and beat the ground with sticks, it was called witchcraft. Today it's called golf.
· If you don't learn to laugh at trouble, you won't have anything to laugh at when you're old.
Tailpiece
PADDY is on a quiz show.
"What's the capital of Ireland?" asks the host.
"Pass."
"What are the colours of the Irish flag?"
"Pass."
"Kissing what famous stone gives you the gift of the gab?"
"Pass."
Voice from the back of the audience: "Good man, Paddy! Tell dem nuttin!"
Last word
In Mexico we have a word for sushi: Bait. - Jose Simon
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