Another sports
great hits
ninety
DURBAN is home to yet another nonagenarian sports great, it transpires. Recently we discussed Chris Klopper, Grand Old Man of Natal rugby – in 1960 he kicked the points to get Natal a draw against the touring All Blacks – who is 91.
Also John Watkins, cricket all-rounder who started his Test career in Australia in 1952/53. John turned 96 recently and is the oldest Test cricketer in the world.
Now my retired colleague Clyde Bawden tells me he lives next door to the oldest Springbok rugby captain at Rolling Hills Country Club, in Umhlanga.
This is Des van Jaarsveld, who turned 90 a few weeks ago. Des played for Rhodesia (this was pre-Zimbabwe and they were part of our rugby set-up, Currie Cup and everything).
Des played only that one Test, against Scotland in 1960, says Clyde, and maintains that he was chosen as captain because he was the only one in the team who could speak English.
He went on to be awarded the MBE for his services to rugby.
Des (who I remember as a winger) is sharp as a tack and good company over a couple of jars, says Clyde. In fact he invites me to come out for that couple of jars to meet Des.
What a splendid idea. Maybe I should bring Chris Klopper and John Watkins and we could organise a game of bok-bok.
Digital jungle
IT'S a jungle out there for those of us who didn't grow up with computers. A plaintive message comes this way, to which many of us would relate.
"Yesterday I had a computer problem so I called Georgie, the 11-year-old next door whose bedroom looks like Mission Control. I asked him to come over.
"Georgie clicked a couple of buttons and solved the problem.
"As he was walking away I called after him: 'So, what was wrong?'
"He replied: 'It was an ID ten T error.'
"'ID ten T error? What's that in case it happens again?'
"Georgie grinned. 'Just write it down and you'll see.'
"I wrote it down – ID10T.
"I used to like Georgie, but he's turned out a little bastard!"
Lively lyrics
I'm like a three-eyed snake
On the road to Humpty Doo …
D'YOU like these lyrics? They have a certain rock 'n roll zing to them, not so? They're inspired by Sky News who report that a three-eyed snake was found at the roadside near the small town of Humpty Doo, in Australia's Northern Territory.
In the excitement they don't tell us what kind of snake it was, but it was 40cm in length and the Northern Territory Parks and Wildlife folk named it Monty Python while they examined and X-rayed it.
Sad to say, it died after three weeks. We hope it wasn't the X-rays that did it.
But at least it will be immortalised when the choristers of the Street Shelter for the Over Forties hit Top of the Charts with Three-Eyed Snakey in Humpty Doo.
Tailpiece
ANGUS and Jeanie are sitting together on a heathery hill in the Scottish Highlands.
Jeanie: "A penny for your thoughts."
Angus: "Well, I was thinkin' how nice it would be if ye'd give me a wee bit of a kiss."
She does that. Then he lapses into pensive mood.
"What are ye thinkin' the noo?"
"Well, I was hopin' ye hadn't forgot that penny!"
Last word
Correct me if I'm wrong, but hasn't the fine line between sanity and madness gotten finer?
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