The Idler, Thursday, July 28, 2016

Just Czech this IT'S high summer in Europe but all the same people in the Czech town of Prerov were startled to see a fellow strolling down the pavement in the nude. Well, not quite in the nude. He was wearing a pair off anklet socks, as shown on Sky TV.. When the police questioned him he explained that he'd been drinking in a pub but had run out of money to pay his bill. He took his clothes off and left them behind as collateral while he walked to another pub where his credit was good and he would be able to borrow money to pay in the first one. It seemed a reasonable enough explanation so the police let him go on his way, borrow the money then walk back again. Bohemia is, of course, a region of the Czech Republic. It gave its name to unconventional behaviour such as this. Bohemia has its overseas enclaves such as the Street Shelter for the Over-Forties, right here in Durban. Patrons are often to be seen Plagiarism? MICHELLE Obama stole the show at the Democratic Party national convention in Philadelphia this week with a powerful and emotional speech that focused on building a future for the children of America. Did she plagiarise any of it from Melania, wife of Donald Trump, who at the earlier Republican convention had plagiarised Michelle? I'm afraid she did. Close examination of a transcript of Michelle's speech reveals constant use of words like "and", "the", "this", "yet" and "but", all of which feature in Melania's speech. American politics is becoming positively inbred. But suddenly there's a gust of fresh air with the selection of Tim Kaine as Democrat candidate for Vice-President, Hillary's running mate. Satirist Andy Borowitz writes in the New Yorker of voters being stunned and bewildered by the selection of a seemingly decent human being. "Voters expressed reactions ranging from shock to total incomprehension at the campaign début of a man who, at first blush, exhibits none of the outward characteristics of a sociopath or clinical narcissist. "The man's evident failure to be the target of fraud lawsuits, sexual-harassment claims, or federal criminal investigations was, in the parlance of many voters, 'weird.' "The man's apparent humanity could spell trouble for his candidacy, as some voters questioned whether he has the capacity for unspeakable evil that is generally considered necessary to win higher office." No, this is America that Borowitz is talking about.   Dancing thief THIS sneak thief in Birmingham, England, was so happy when he found a £50 note in a wallet he'd just nicked from a car that he danced a little jig right there on the pavement. It was picked up by CCTV cameras, which were in turn routinely scanned by the local police. The thief, Kamayi Matumona, was an old customer who they iimmediately recognised, according to Sky News, so they thought they might as well pop round to his place and find out what made him so happy. He still had the wallet, and they nicked him. Matumona got 22 weeks in the slammer. Maybe it's a chance for him to practise his dance steps. Disappearing cats DOZENS of cats have mysteriously disappeared from the New Zealand town of Timaru, the Huffington Post reports. Ashleigh Hicks reported the loss of her cat on Facebook, which prompted a deluge of replies from people whose cats had also disappeared. Now Ashleigh has set up a Facebook groupo called #freethefurbabies and gone to the police about it. I wonder if we can pin this on the New Zealand Rugby Union. It could be our only hope. Khaba Mkhize I WAS saddened to learn of the death in Maritzburg of veteran journalist Khaba Mkhize. Khaba used to write a column in the Witness called Khaba's Khona, an early exercise in reaching out to other groups, even though at the time we were still in the depths of apartheid. The name was a clever pun. using the Zulu word "khona", meaning, roughly, "being there." It was a trailblazer. Khaba was sometimes controversial but always good-humoured.   Tailpiece THE scene is the bar of the Poona Club. "I want something tall and cool and full of gin." "Sah, you're talking about the woman I love!" Last word America believes in education: the average professor earns more money in a year than a professional athlete earns in a whole week. Evan Esar