Concentrating the mind
COALITION is the in-word. Will the political parties be able to fashion coalitions – power-sharing – in the hung municipalities where no party has an absolute majority?
It surely ought to be possible. There's nothing ideological about water, sewerage, electricity and the rest of it. Who knows, co-operation at local level might teach the politicos that it can be done at provincial and national levels as well – back to the Government of National Unity of the Mandela era.
The government says that if municipalities are unable to fashion functioning local governments, it will have to intervene. Presumably that would mean those municipalities being run by provincial government, the way it already happens if they become dysfunctional.
In that case, are councillors entitled to be paid for their non-services? What it amounts to is that they decline to govern. We surely need to get this made clear. In fashioning coalitions it could wonderfully concentrate the mind.
The Donald
THE opinions polls are not being kind to Donald Trump. His bizarre utterances appear to be now compounded by a refusal to release details of his tax affairs.
But, according to satirist Andy Borowitz in the New Yorker, Trump has hit back against the poll figures by denouncing the numerical system itself.
He called the numerical system "rigged", says Borowitz, and unleashed a torrent of abuse on numbers themselves, calling them "disgusting" and "the lowest form of life."
"'It's why I won't release my taxes,' he said. 'They're full of goddam numbers."
GOP insiders fret that Trump is veering wildly off message, says Borowitz. "He should be talking about Hillary Clinton, and instead he's going off on integers." one said.
That's satire. But what's actually going on? Is Trump trying to throw the election?
It's meat and drink for the conspiracy theorists, who abound on the internet. A site called Anti-Media maintains that Trump is a Trojan Horse who set out to destroy the Republican Party and get Hillary Clinton into the presidency.
Well, he might well have done just that. But on purpose? Anti-Media maintains also that a group called the Deep State controls the whole world in secret. Does that make the Democratic Party a part of Deep State? The mind, senor, she boggles.
Andy Oshry, of Huffington Post, takes a more conventional view. Trump has blown it, he says. His campaign is in chaos as he continually counter-punches against perceived slights. He's already lost.
Yes, but they said pretty much the same about Brexit, didn't they?
Hot stuff
REFERRING to yesterday's column about the great Curry Cook-Off, former Durban councillor Laurie Kaplan says he and his wife were driving along Sparks Road when they spotted a sign in a shop window.
It was in huge capitals and read: "HOT! HOT! BURN YOUR BUM CURRY!"
Petrol price
EIGHTY-eight-year-old Maureen Page-Green (I hope I've read her signature right) sends in a petrol cash sales slip from the Cowiesway Service Station, Cowie's Hill, dated July 27, 1988.
She found it on July 27, 2016 – 28 years later, to the day - in a bag of tapestry wool which had been donated to the Cheshire Home charity shop in Mosely, where she's a volunteer.
According to the cash slip a car – ND 410863 – drove into the service station and bought 12.66 litres of 98-octane petrol for R10.
"A strange coincidence or just a reminder of the good times in which we lived."
A coincidence indeed, Maureen. Also a reminder.
But by July 27, 1988, things had already begun to slide, I'm afraid. It began when we decimalised our coinage from pounds, shillings and pence. It got worse when we adopted metric weights and measures.
At the time we decimalised the coinage, you could buy a gallon of petrol for three shillings and sixpence.
Three shillings and sixpence is the equivalent of 35 cents. A gallon is the equivalent of 4.54609 litres. A litre of petrol in those days therefore cost the equivalent of 7.6998923690468073 cents. Let's call it 8 cents.
Petrol at the equivalent of 8 cents a litre! Decimal coinage and metrication have brought ruination on us.
I rest my case.
Tailpiece
WHAT does Wayde van Niekerk do when he misses his bus?
He gets on at the next stop.
Last word
People who throw kisses are hopelessly lazy.
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