Refugee crisis unfolds

DONALD Trump's presidential campaign in the US appears to have run into choppy waters. He's getting into one pointless, acrimonious argument after the other. He's sliding in the opinion polls. And he's done great damage to the Republican Party, where senior figures and donors have deserted him, some openly endorsing Hillary Clinton.

Andy Borowitz sums it up in the New Yorker. "A humanitarian crisis has been unfolding over the past week as Republican refugees seeking asylum have overrun the Democratic National Committee headquarters in Washington DC.

"DNC staffers have confirmed that they were woefully unprepared for the masses of desperate Republicans who have shown up at the DNC's door,

Refugee crisis unfolds

DONALD Trump's presidential campaign in the US appears to have run into choppy waters. He's getting into one pointless, acrimonious argument after the other. He's sliding in the opinion polls. And he's done great damage to the Republican Party, where senior figures and donors have deserted him, some openly endorsing Hillary Clinton.

Andy Borowitz sums it up in the New Yorker. "A humanitarian crisis has been unfolding over the past week as Republican refugees seeking asylum have overrun the Democratic National Committee headquarters in Washington DC.

"DNC staffers have confirmed that they were woefully unprepared for the masses of desperate Republicans who have shown up at the DNC's door,

"These people have been brutalised for months and have decided to risk everything to save themselves and their families," DNC staffer Tracy Klugian said. "When they tell you their stories, they are absolutely heartbreaking."

"Meg Whitman, who is 60, said she left her entire life as a Republican behind after witnessing unspeakable horrors under the new GOP regime.

"Taking comfort from a blanket and a cup of coffee provided by DNC staffers, Whitman appeared to be in a state of shock about where life under a failed state had brought her.

"'I never thought I'd find myself in a place like this,' she said as she took in the unfamiliar surroundings of the DNC headquarters. 'Still, anything has to be better than where I came from.'

"When asked if she had any regrets about her decision to flee, Whitman choked back tears before responding. 'I had no choice,' she said. 'There is no respect for human life there.'"

Great satire. But – wow! – what damage to the party of Abraham Lincoln and to the pendulum effect in the American two-party system..

The winner

WHO'S rubbing his hands? Why, Bill Clinton of course.

The White House is in prospect. All those little interns running around.

Heh, heh!

The lists

JOUSTING at the Olympics? English Heritage says it's lobbying for the sport – increasingly popular in the UK – to be declared an Olympic event.

Knights in armour, what a spectacle. But imagine the Russians on horses the size of elephants.

Shopping incident

NEVER leave your dogs in a car with the windows fully rolled up.

But if the windows aren't fully rolled up, the air-conditioning won't work.

Never leave your dogs in a parked car with the windows fully rolled up, even if it's air-conditioned.

A woman in Wayne, West Virginia, in the US, did just that, according to this snippet in the Huffington Post. For the air-conditioning to work, she had to leave the engine running while she went off to do her shopping.

Dogs play when you leave them alone to go shopping. One of them bumped the gear selector, shifting it out of "park" mode. Next thing there was this car driving across the parking area

with two dogs on board but neither of them actually behind the wheel.

Then the car crashed into the supermarket's outside wall, stalled and came to rest, fortunately without causing great damage.

The dogs were unfazed. The conversation between the woman shopper and her husband that evening is not recorded.

Flying saucer

PADDY from the planet Pluto? People in the Irish town of Gorey, in County Wexford, were astonished the other day to see a flying saucer skimming along the streets, pursued by a police car.

Eventually the police pulled the saucer over. But no little green men got out – it turned out the whole thing was a spoof, according to Sky News..

v

The saucer – mounted on two electric scooters and equipped with strobe lights, a smoke machine and laser - was an exhibit at a youth and arts festival. The police were playing along just to help publicise the festival.

 

 

Elections

IAN Gibson, poet laureate of Hillcrest, pens some lines on the recent local government elections.

 

We have just had the municipal elections,

With the people having made their selections;

Whilst not the end,

There's a definite trend -

Will No 1 review his predictions?

 

Tailpiece

I USED to be able to clap with just one hand. But that was Zen, this is Tao.

Last word

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