That's showbiz folks
A GREAT winning try that was by Warren Whitely. But when, from the kick-off, the full-time hooter sounded and he happened to gather the ball; and he then made to hoof it out of play; then found he'd kicked an up-and-under instead, going nowhere near touch; and he then gathered his own kick and dived the ball into touch – it was an unusual and unexpected play.
Entertaining rugby is all very well, but in a Test match slapstick is going too far.
Boy, what a nailbiter the Nelspruit affair turned out to be. Argentina are tough hombres. Their backline play is exceedingly clever, given the slightest chance. The Boks play them again next weekend, this time in Buenos Aires.
We showed huge improvement. Yet one has a sense of foreboding. Not so much for Buenos Aires – we have the measure of them – but for the impending encounter with the All Blacks.
I was in the Kingsmead Mynahs suite on Saturday where, due to drizzle and poor light, cricket was abandoned, and instead we watched on TV the slaughter of the Van Diemenslanders.
'Twas a horrid sight. A lot of work lies ahead if we are to match these All Blacks.
Prediction
IT'S difficult to predict what effect lost playing time will have on the outcome of the current cricket Test between the Black Caps and the Proteas. All we can say with some certainty that midday today will provide a turning point.
It will then be high tide, just coming off spring tides.
The first sign will be small mullet leaping at long-on, the dorsal fins of sharks patrolling the boundary and fiddler crabs nipping painfully at crouching slip fielders. The wicket will start doing peculiar things.
At Kingsmead it's good to have local knowledge.
Fans not there
WHATEVER has happened to South African sports fans? At Kingsmead on Friday there was an enthralling day's play, a Test between South Africa and New Zealand. There was a time when people would have queued for hours to see this kind of thing.
They would have come to watch as much as they could over five days – many grandmothers would die.
Yet it attracted all of 2 000 people. It's astonishing.
This is because Test cricket is stodgy and old-fashioned? Five days is too long for any game?
Why then are rugby attendances at Kings Park and other centres similarly pathetic for an 80-minute game? Kings Park used be regularly packed with crowds of 30 000-plus.
Why are rugby stadiums in the Home Unions, France, Australia and New Zealand packed? Cricket grounds in the same countries, plus India? They all have the same sort of competing TV coverage we do. It's a puzzle.
Razzamatazz and blaring music is not the answer. We surely need to fill those stands with schoolkids, let in for free. Bus them in from places like Umlazi and KwaMashu. Get some crowd atmosphere. Attract fans of the future. Don't just languish.
Holding pattern
INVESTMENT analyst Dr James Greener says in his latest grumpy newsletter that it seems the world markets have entered a holding pattern until the Olympics and the US presidential elections are over.
"In respect of this latter event it is utterly amazing that such a big country can offer its electorate such a poor choice of candidates.
"Is there no chance of an unexpected gale of change such as we have experienced down here on the southern tip?
"Once again the perils of foretelling the future are laid bare. Did any pundit come anywhere near to the outcome for our local governments? Democracy given its head can produce some amazing results. Once again, as in 1994, one is proud to be a South African."
Tailpiece
IN A TRAIN from London to Manchester, an American is berating the Englishman sitting across from him in the compartment.
"The trouble with you English is that you are too stuffy. You set yourselves apart too much. You think your stiff upper lip makes you above the rest of us.
"Look at me. I'm me. I have a little Italian in me, a bit of Greek, a little Irish and some Spanish blood. What do you say to that?"
The Englishman lowers his newspaper and looks over his glasses: "Jolly sporting of your mother."
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Last word
Boys will be boys, and so will a lot of middle-aged men.
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