Sunday, August 21, 2016

The Idler, Monday, August 15, 2016

Makes ya noivous

THE American election campaign is getting a little alarming. Donald Trump kicked off saying he's going to build a high wall along the Mexican border to keep out rapists and drug dealers. Now he says President Obama and Hillary Clinton co-founded the terrorist movement Islamic State.

He also suggests, very pointedly, that supporters of the Second Amendment – the right to bear arms – might have to take up arms if Hillary wins.

The only debate is over whether he meant Hillary should be assassinated – as earlier presidents have been – or whether there should be a general insurrection.

This is utterly inane. Is this the Republican Party or the Mad Hatter's tea party?

I know the polls show Trump losing support, but Trump appeals to something beyond where the polls reach in America. Also, the US presidential election is not a straight head-count. There's an electoral college where the rust belt states – de-industrialised and discontented - could be decisive.

Makes ya noivous.

Meanwhile, satirist Andy Borowitz says Trump has lashed out at the media for reporting what he says.

Writing in the New Yorker, he quotes Trump saying it's unfair and unethical.

"At a rally in Florida, the candidate lashed out at a TV cameraman whom he caught in the act of recording his words for broadcasting purposes.

"'Look at him over there, picking up everything I'm saying, folks,' Trump shouted. 'Get him out of here!'"

Interesting times – as in the old Chinese curse.

 

That amendment

 

THE Second Amendment was passed in 1791. America was a frontier society then and the arms they allowed citizens to carry were flintlock muskets and powder and ball pistols – not the deadly automatic weapons that spray bullets and have been used in the seemingly regular atrocities that so tragically mar life in America.

 

Green grass

SOME entertaining rugby last Friday. The Griquas overcame their initial discomfort and bewilderment at playing on green grass and made a game of it with a great flair on counter-attack.

The match ended on a rousing note in the dying seconds as two Griquas and one Shark chased a rolling, bouncing ball behind the Griquas' goal-line, and all three failed to dot down.

Well, that's the nature of a rugby ball, fellers.

The Sharks are looking sharp. Great hands, great tackling – the defensive line is like a wire noose – and the forwards full of get up and go and driving.

But the backs do need to eliminate that kicking away of possession. It's a bad habit like biting your nails.

A great Currie Cup season beckons. If only somebody could persuade the Nazi Torturer to lay off with the blaring music. Who goes to rugby for this stuff?

The handlebar moustache of an army colonel I was chatting to positively quivered from the decibels. "Something must be done about this!" he declared.

Maybe fixed bayonets.

 

Medals

THE Sevens guys got bronze at the Olympics. They could so easily have got silver. But then they'd have had to play Fiji.

I know we've beaten Fiji before at Sevens, but these fellows seem to have stepped up their game a few notches. They're so big and fast, and with Sevens they have the whole field in which to move,

If it takes two or three tacklers to bring the man down, and he offloads, you haven't got too many personnel left to deal with the rest.

Loud clicking

INVESTMENT analyst Dr James Greener reflects in his latest grumpy newsletter on the loud clicking sound that is to be heard as moral compasses are realigned and principles are adjusted.

"The word of the moment is 'coalition'. The annual yearling sales will be trivial compared to the horse trading that must be going on behind closed doors everywhere.

"The naïve yet necessary question to ask is why at the local level does it matter very much which party governs? All that we require is that competent and dedicated people are on hand to install and maintain boring but vital infrastructure.

"The sad answer is of course that in addition to some very fancy salary packages now paid to council officials it's the patronage opportunities for friends and relatives that are attractive."

Tailpiece

WHAT do you call a cat that catches outlaws?

A posse cat.

Last word

 

Acting is merely the art of keeping a large group of people from coughing.

Sir Ralph Richardson

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