Sunday, July 24, 2011

The Idler, Wednesday, June 29

No wedding pictures

 

AT LAST we have a time fix for that incident in which a photographer fell out of a Harvard trainer aircraft and parachuted safely into the sea off Durban. Most people put it some time in the mid to late 1940s but reader Bill Leslie can give us a firm date. It was February 18, 1950.

 

He should remember. It was the day he was married and the photographer, Stanley Gee, was supposed to take the photographs but didn't pitch.

 

"My wife, June, and I were married in Port Shepstone on February 18, 1950, and after our reception we flew from Margate airfield to Durban in a Stinson aircraft piloted by my brother, George.

 

"Arriving at Stamford Hill airport late that afternoon we expected to be met by a photographer but the airfield seemed to be deserted. The only reception for us was a stray dog who welcomed us with a wagging tail and slobbery licks.

 

"After staying overnight at the Mayfair Hotel, we flew off to spend our honeymoon at the Cathedral Peak Hotel, not reading any papers. We did not realise what had happened until we returned home to Margate.

 

"Now, 61 years later, you have brought back to us a very fond memory."

 

 

In de banana tree

MEANWHILE, the topic of people falling out of aeroplanes reminds Zoltan de Rosner, of Pennington, of the parachutist who survived his 'chute not opening.

"Does anyone out there remember Pat Smith? In days of yore he used to do parachute jumps at fetes and air shows. His parachute failed to open on two occasions, yet he lived to tell the tale. If my memory serves me, one time he landed on his back on top of a big banana tree, which cushioned his fall, allowing him to get up and walk away.

"Another time his fall was broken - along with a few bones, I seem to remember - by the branches of a large tree. I can't remember if he retired after that or kept on jumping. Brave or simply crazy?"

As it happens, I do recall Pat Smith and the banana tree. A group of us were fishing at Umhlali when we were joined by a fellow who'd read it in the newspaper.

"And he survived?" we asked incredulously.

"Yeah. But the banana tree was a write-off."

I don't recall the second incident. Can anyone out there help?

 

Have nappy ...

A TWO-YEAR OLD boy wearing only pyjamas and a nappy travelled 60 miles on a bus from Wales to England, according to this news snippet. Nobody realised he was not accompanied by an adult.

The toddler boarded the bus with other passengers at Montgomery, Wales, and ran down the aisle to sit calmly between two teenagers. It was not until the bus arrived at Shrewsbury, England, that the driver realised the boy was unaccompanied. All passengers had assumed the child belonged to someone else on the bus.

It threw the bus company and the police into a bit of a tizz as a search began for the parents back in Wales. There's also an investigation into how the toddler could have been allowed to board.

I don't know what the fuss is about. At least the kid wasn't driving.

Sheepdog trial

A SHEEPDOG in England doesn't quite cut it. The four-year-old Border Collie, named Ci, turns and runs whenever the sheep on his farm in Somerset move towards him.

Now his owners have unaccountably made a video of Ci's humiliation and put it on the internet. It's a big hit.

It recalls The Passing Show, a column written for the Sunday Times (South Africa) for many years by Joel Mervis. One of his characters was a pacifist Viking who was portrayed in verse.

Erik Lackguts, shame of the dragon ships,

Fainted at bloodshed, damned intellectual ...

Marvellous stuff! Mervis edited the newspaper and was constantly in skirmishes with the Nat government, but The Passing Show never faltered.

Law of nature

THE SAME clutter that will fill a one-car garage will fill a two-car garage.

Tailpiece

Newlywed she: "Do you want dinner?

Newlywed he: "Sure. What are my choices?"

Newlywed she: "Yes and no."

Last word

It's not the voting that's democracy, it's the counting.

Tom Stoppard

 

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