Home-owner forecloses on bank
POSTMAN bites dog. An American home-owner has foreclosed on a bank. It happened in Collier County, Florida, where the Bank of America – based in North Carolina – tried to foreclose on a Mrs Maurenn Nyergers.
When it got to court it turned out that Mrs Nyergers didn't owe a dime on the house. She'd bought it for cash in the first place and never had a mortgage.
Embarrassment for the bank? You would think so. But the Bank of America were in no hurry to repay Mrs Nyergers's legal fees, as the judge had ordered. Five months dragged by.
Then Mrs Nyergers's attorney did exactly what the Bank of America had tried to do to her home.
Sheriff's deputies, movers, and Mrs Nyergers's attorney went to the bank and foreclosed on it, locking out the manager and staff. The attorney gave instructions for desks, computers, copiers and filing cabinets to be removed, as well as any cash in the tellers' drawers.
Banks are not used to being treated that way. After about an hour of being locked out, the bank manager handed the attorney a cheque for the legal fees.
Oh, lovely stuff! Standard, FNB, Nedbank, Absa and the rest of you – pas op!
Poetic puzzler
READER Hughbythesea, of Pennington, sends in some puzzling lines.
Frack them all, frack them all,
The long and the short and the tall.
Frack all the Sasols and Chesapeake Corps
Frack all the Staoils who're messing up our dorps,
Let's be waving goodbye to them all
As back to their countries they crawl.
Let's make lots of commotion this side of the ocean
So cheer up my lads, frack them all!
Whatever can he mean? It appears to be some sort of commentary on proposals for natural gas exploitation by "fracking" in KwaZulu-Natal and elsewhere, while the cadences and phraseology recall a well-known army song.
There must be some deep, underlying message.
Mile high transparency
AIRBUS has designed a passenger aircraft of the future whose outer fuselage will change colour and even go transparent.
Will this inhibit the activities of the Mile High Club? Er … probably not. The only onlookers at that altitude are likely to be the crew of Venusian and other spacecraft, and they don't have access to Twitter.
Be afraid ...
A COUNCIL in England has been found wanting in its contingency plans to deal with an attack by zombies.
The news comes after a "concerned citizen" made a bizarre request under the freedom of information laws. He asked Leicester City Council to explain its emergency plans to counter such an attack.
He added: "Having watched several films it is clear that preparation for such an event is poor."
The authority has 20 working days in which to answer but a council spokeswoman admits there are no specific plans to deal with zombies. However, she says she is sure the overall emergency plan could be used to fight them off.
Hijacked corgis
THE KLOOF and Highway SPCA appeals for anyone who spots two cross corgis running about the place to get in touch. They are victims of a hijacking at Waterfall last weekend, who were driven away in the stolen car It's believed they might have been dropped off later at the Pavilion.
Anyone who spots a couple of distressed corgis on the run is asked to phone Barbara Patrick at 031-7641212.
Hillcrest hots up
THE MUSE is stirring like crazy in Hillcrest. Mike Dunleavy, who describes himself as aspirant Deputy Bard to the actual Bard, Ian Gibson, sends in some lines on Speaker Logie Naidoo that directly contradict his superior.
Hands off our oracle Logie
He's not just a smiley-face fogey
Who parties and poses
With socialite roses.
He's a Speaker of note
Who now has the vote
To put into word
Truths erstwhile unheard.
So listen up folks,
No more million rand jokes.
From Logie the Logos
Expect no hocos-pocos.
Tailpiece
THE ROYAL Navy is developing computer chips that store music inside women's breast implants. This is to counter complaints that sailors stare at women's breasts instead of listening to them.
Last word
Consistency requires you to be as ignorant today as you were a year ago.
No comments:
Post a Comment