A night for lovers
IT'S THE WINTER solstice – shortest day of the year, conversely (and significantly for those smitten by love) the longest night. After midnight we'll be moving incrementally toward spring.
The winter solstice isn't such a big deal here in the southern hemisphere. In the northern hemisphere they celebrate it with choirs of angels, holly, snogging under the mistletoe, log fires, turkey, pud, loads of booze and loads of good cheer. It's also known as Christmas.
But some of us do our sub-tropical best, gathering in various hostelries to huddle round the charcoal braziers. In fact many of us think it the nicest time of year in Durban. We'll never match the northern hemisphere, but tonight we can at least raise a glass of claret to the turning of the seasons in our little part of the cosmos.
More fall-out
RECENTLY we carried an item on the photographer who fell out of a Harvard training aircraft and parachuted into the sea off Durban. Eighty-two-year-old Jean Robinson, of Uvongo, writes in to say it was her late husband, Les, who rescued him.
Les – known to his fellow lifesavers at Pirates as "Rubber" - was out on his paddleski when the photographer fell out, and he went to his assistance.
"A tugboat arrived after a while and what a job it was getting Gee (the photographer) onto the rescue boat. When the boat swelled up, the paddleski went down.
"A while later I read in a London paper, the Daily Mirror, that this lifesaver rescued the photographer and had his time cut out hitting sharks with his paddle. There wasn't a shark in sight."
"In appreciation Gee gave Rubber a pair of gold cufflinks and took our wedding photos for free."
Yes I'm afraid that for papers like the Daily Mirror, Africa is all shark-infested seas and crocodile-infested rivers. If the photographer had come down on land, they'd have been fighting off lions, pythons and wildebeest.
Still more fall-out
MEANWHILE, there's now some doubt about the name of the photographer. The family of the pilot of the Harvard – Captain Graeme Schwikkard – remember it as Stanley Gee. But former Durban councillor Arthur Morris – who was also a keen pilot - says he remembers the incident well and he's sure the photographer's name was Stan Bunn.
Perhaps he was Stanley G Bunn and Schwikkard used to call him Stanley Gee? That might explain it. Can anyone out there help?
Grand old Duke
THE DUKE of Edinburgh turned 90 recently. The consort to the British throne has been known over the years for his blunt and often politically incorrect contributions to the national discourse.
Satirical magazine Private Eye celebrates the occasion with another classic front cover. Under the headline "Duke's birthday gaffe", he is seen with his son Charles, Prince of Wales, who is beginning to show his years.
A speech bubble from the Duke: "Bloody hell, you look ninety! Have you thought of retiring?"
Freak bunnies
RABBITS are suddenly being born without ears at a village in Chengkou County, south-west China, according to this news snippet. It is causing great puzzlement among the local people.
How do you pick up a rabbit without ears? If you pick up a guinea pig by the tail, its eyes fall out, as we all know. Does this apply to rabbits as well?
Perhaps it's a question best addressed to the Beatrix Potter Society. It seems unlikely to affect the local bunnychow industry.
Good ol' Mac
MACHIAVELLI, the Florentine who gave his name to everything cruel, cunning and devious was actually quite nice, according to a new biography.
All right, he did write The Prince, a manual of political skullduggery based on the life of Cesare Borgia, a son of the Pope (things were hectic in 16th century Italy), but it was just something to impress his boss, says biographer Miles Unger.
In real life Machiavelli was devoted to his wife, Marietta Corsini, and their children.
I suppose that's nice to know. But it does weaken our vocabulary of denunciation. Let's stick to the Machiavelli we are familiar with.
Tailpiece
HE GOT LOCKED up for assaulting his wife with a jelly. The charge was one of using a congealed weapon.
Last word
A healthy male adult bore consumes each year one and a half times his own weight in other people's patience.
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