Roll on the Currie Cup!
WHAT an opener to the Currie Cup we had on Saturday. This was brilliant rugby, the best King's Park has seen all season. Played with flair and zest, it showed we still have wonderful depths of talent.
Yet the stadium was sadly empty. It was as if people somehow feel the Currie Cup has been downgraded by the absence of Springboks playing in the Tri-Nations, to be followed by the World Cup.
They couldn't be more wrong. If they want top-class, quality rugby, here it is. The Currie Cup always was the dynamo of our rugby and that's still true. What a joy it was to see the pace at which the game was played, the way the passes stuck, the split-second offloads, the deadly tackling and - get this! – the way the Sharks drove and shoved the Bulls pack all over the park. John Plumtree has here a well-drilled, wonderfully honed outfit.
As a rugby traditionalist I am not enthusiastic about the way the game has been Americanised in the professional era - the ridiculous team names, all the razzamatazz. But Saturday showed that class will always show through in the end.
Roll on the Currie Cup! This is rugby!
Irish railways
SOME correspondence comes this way between a rail commuter and the Irish Railway Company.
Gentlemen,
I have been riding your trains daily for the last two years, and the service on your line seems to be getting worse every day. I am tired of standing in the aisle all the time on a 14-mile trip. I think the transportation system is worse than enjoyed by people 2 000 years ago.
Yours truly,
Patrick Finnegan
Dear Mr. Finnegan,
We received your letter with reference to the shortcomings of our service and believe you are somewhat confused in your history. The only mode of transportation 2 000 years ago was by foot.
Sincerely,
Irish Railway Company
Gentlemen,
I am in receipt of your letter, and I think you are the ones who are confused in your history. If you will refer to the Bible and the Book of Numbers 22: 1-35, you will find that Balaam rode to town on his ass.
That, gentlemen, is something I have not been able to do on your train in the last two years.
Yours truly,
Patrick Finnegan.
Ornithology
Where have all the seagulls gone?
To St Lucia, every one.
When will they ever learn?
When will they ever learn?
READER Dave Bishop responds to Gray Braadvedt's ornithological posers. The seagulls appear to have deserted Durban, Gray says, while the other day in Moore Road he spotted what appeared to be swallows or swifts in mid-winter.
The gulls have gone to St Lucia, says Dave. "The most common gull in Durban is the Grey-headed which at this time of year migrates up to St Lucia and environs to breed and will return with the youngsters in tow only around the end of August."
The birds spotted in Moore Road would have been swifts, which do not migrate like swallows.
"As your reader saw the birds in Moore Road they would probably be Little Swifts which roost and nest on cliffs, the tall buildings in the area being wonderful substitutes."
So there we are then. I know it's silly, but it sounds good set to the folk song.
Where have all the swallows gone?
Gone to Moore Road every one ...
Tailpiece
A HONEYMOON couple check into the Watergate Hotel in Washington. The bride asks: "What if the place is still bugged?"
"I'll check," says the groom. He looks behind the curtains, behind the pictures, under the rug. Finally: "Aha!" Under the rug is a disc with four screws. He takes his Swiss army knife, undoes the screws, throws them and the disc out the window and then gets on with the honeymoon.
Next morning, the hotel manager asks: "How was your room? How was the service? How was your stay at the Watergate Hotel?"
"Great. Why?"
"I thought so. The couple in the room under you complained that the chandelier fell on them in the middle of the night."
Last word
The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four Americans is suffering from some form of mental illness. Think of your three best friends. If they're okay, then it's you.
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