Hooligan hackers
THAT word "hooliganism" crops up again in the Slavonic legal system. Only yesterday we were discussing the way South African refugee Dirk Visser is accused in Belarus of hooliganism in robbing a bank and various other misdeeds.
The question, as you might recall, was whether the word "hooligan" – derived from a riotous Irish family who lived in 19th century London – really has passed into the Russian vocabulary the way it has into English.
Now the mystery appearance of a sequence of hard core pornography on an advertising screen in Red Square, Moscow, has been blamed on – yes, you guessed – hooliganism.
The blue movie caused a traffic jam at peak hour in Red Square, and it is believed it got there through the activities of a computer hacker.
"They were either acting out of hooliganism or were from a rival company," Viktor Laptev, commercial director of the firm that owns the billboard, is quoted saying.
Yes, they take a dim view of hooliganism in Russia.
More hooliganism
THE INCIDENT recalls another several years ago in a now-defunct club in central Durban. It was rather a staid institution, decorated with portraits of people like Queen Elizabeth, Winston Churchill and General Smuts.
One evening a scallywag sub-editor from one of our sister newspapers slipped a cassette of hard-core pornography into the control system for the TV in the men's bar.
It caused a sensation. The members thought it was being screened by the SABC. Most were World War II veterans, and it brought back memories of Cairo. There was talk of phoning Addington to get the cardiac unit on standby.
What our prankster did not realise though was that his video was playing through in the ladies' lounge also, where the Vera Lynn glee club were having a get-together. There it nearly caused a riot – when it got switched off.
This was quite definitely an act of hooliganism.
Formula for life
A PROFESSOR stood before his philosophy class. He picked up a large empty jar and started to fill it with golf balls. He then asked the students if the jar was full. They agreed it was.
Then he picked up a box of pebbles and poured it into the jar. He shook the jar lightly. The pebbles rolled into the open areas between the golf balls. The students again agreed it was full.
The professor next poured isandinto the jar. It filled up everything else. The students again agreed the jar was full.
The professor then poured in two cups of coffee, filling the empty space between the sand.
"Now," said the professor, "I want you to recognise that this jar represents your life.
"The golf balls are the important things - spirituality, family, children, health, friends, and favourite passions. Things that if everything else was lost and only they remained, your life would still be full.
"The pebbles are the things that matter like your job, house, and car. The sand is everything else - the small stuff.
"If you put the sand into the jar first," he continued, "there is no room for the pebbles or the golf balls. The same goes for life. If you spend all your time and energy on the small stuff, you will never have room for the things that are important.
"Pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness. Play with your children. Take time to get medical check-ups. Take your partner out to dinner.
" Take care of the golf balls first - the things that really matter. Set your priorities. The rest is just sand."
A student raised her hand. What did the coffee represent? The professor smiled. "I'm glad you asked. It just goes to show you that no matter how full your life may seem, there's always room for a couple of cups of coffee with a friend."
This appeared in a life insurance company newsletter. You can't fault it.
At home
CRICKET fanatic Krishini asks: Where do England's top players stay when on tour in South Africa? At home with their parents.
Tailpiece
Paddy : "Why do scuba divers always fall backwards off deir boats?"
Mick: "Well, if dey fell forward dey'd still be in de boat, you daft fool!"
Last word
About the time we think we can make ends meet, somebody moves the ends.
GRAHAM LINSCOTT
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