The Idler, Friday, January 22, 2010

It's a braw bricht nicht …

'TWAS at the gathering of the clans and all the Scots were there … yes, it's again the time of whisky, bagpipes and haggis with tatties and neeps; the Selkirk Grace; the toast to the lassies; and, of course, the address to the haggis:

Fair fa' your honest, sonsie face,
Great chieftain o the puddin'-race!
Aboon them a' ye tak your place,
Painch, tripe, or thairm:
Weel are ye wordy of a grace
As lang's my arm.

As there are another seven verses, it is indeed "as lang's my arm".

All over the world this weekend they'll be celebrating Burns Nicht, the birthday of Robbie Burns (which actually falls on Monday), Scotland's immortal bard. A big Burns Supper is to be held at Midmar, near Howick, tomorrow night and there are bound to be many others. Recitation of his verse and the singing of songs based on it is a feature of such gatherings.

But very little is taken from his collection, The Merry Muses of Caledonia, which seems a pity.

Comin' o'er the moor o' Couper,
Comin' o'er the moor o' Couper,
Donald fell in love wi' her,
An' row'd his Highland plaid about her.

The stanza is taken from the poem, Blyth and Will's Wedding, which is said to have inspired The Ball of Kirriemuir, which has become a famous rugby song.

 

Missus MacGinty, she was there,

She had them all in fits

By diving off the mantelpiece

And …

 

Well, I'm sure you get the picture. Robbie Burns enjoyed a good party (or ceilidh, as he would have called it) and his legacy certainly has enlivened our social life.

 

There is a star whose beaming ray
Is shed on ev'ry clime.
It shines by night, it shines by day
And ne'er grows dim wi' time.
It rose upon the banks of Ayr,
It shone on Doon's clear stream -
A hundred years are gane and mair,
Yet brighter grows its beam.

Let kings and courtiers rise and fa',
This world has mony turns
But brightly beams aboon them a'
The star o' Rabbie Burns.

Just the ticket!

 

READER Buck Rogers has found some old tickets for King's Park and Kingsmead that he had stashed away from his student days. The prices astonish him: Natal versus British Isles (June 1968) – R2; South Africa versus Australia (February 1970) - R1.30; Natal versus New Zealand (May 1970) – R3.

 

"The cricket test, which South Africa won by an innings, featured that great partnership between Barry Richards and Graeme Pollock. But what interests me is the prices.

 

"Even allowing for inflation, I would argue that these matches, played by amateurs, provided better entertainment than dished up today. How can one compare the one-dimensional kick and chase, crash ball tactics of the professional Sharks with the Izak van Heerden-inspired Natal of the 1960s?

 

"Who can forget the anticipation of the famous "Natal finish", that last 15 minutes of all-out attack, when there were probably more full backline movements than one sees from the Sharks in an entire season?

 

"The tickets were cheap but not the entertainment."

 

Genius coach

 

YES, IZAK van Heerden, a coach of genius who revolutionised the game. I remember that Natal-British Lions match very well for a gross injustice.

 

Brian Schabram (scrumhalf) broke round the blind side then reverse-flipped a pass to Keith Oxlee, who crossed the Lions' line without anyone laying a finger on him. But the referee was unable to award the try because he hadn't seen it. He'd run into a player, got knocked off his feet and, at the moment of touch-down, was looking at the turf of King's Park, close-up. The touch judges couldn't rule in those days. There was no kyk-weer.

 

The word "incensed" does not adequately capture the sentiments of the crowd.

 

Royal duck

 

THAT partnership at Kingsmead between Barry Richards and Graeme Pollock has rightly gone into the annals of cricket. Richards missed by a few runs knocking up his century before lunch.

 

But who remembers the first ball of that same innings against Australia, when Eddie Barlow went out caught and bowled? This was high drama. He redeemed himself by taking two wickets in his first over as a change bowler but didn't get the chance to bat again because we won by an innings, with a day to spare.

 

Tailpiece

 

THE SCOTSMAN took his girl home by cab. She was so beautiful, it was all he could do to keep his eyes on the meter.

 

Last word

 

We look to Scotland for all our ideas of civilisation. -
Voltaire

 

GRAHAM LINSCOTT