The Idler, Tuesday, January 19, 2010

Hooliganism

 

AMONG the charges faced in Belarus by South African fugitive Dirk Prinsloo is one of "hooliganism". Some years ago an American madcap flew a light aircraft under the radar screen to land in Red Square, Moscow. He too was charged with "hooliganism".

It's curious that the Slavs should choose this word, so evocative of throwing stones at street lights and general rowdy, violent misbehaviour. Nobody seems to suggest that Visser has been behaving like an English football fan.

It would be interesting to know if hooliganism is a clumsy translation of another purely Russian word (they speak Russian in Belarus) or if the word "hooligan" has itself been incorporated into the Russian language.

It entered the English language late in the 19^th century, derived from the lively antics of an Irish family named Hooligan (sometimes spelled Houlihan) who lived in Southwark, just south of the River Thames in London, where they frequented a pub called the Lamb and Flag and established a reputation for rowdy misbehaviour.

 

Presumably the Lamb and Flag still exists. It's worth a visit. Probably you can throw glasses around and tip beer over people and nobody notices.

 

Democracy

THERE'S much talk these days of democracy. Historian and Zulu War expert Peter Quantrill sends in an interesting little formulation that he says has stood the test of time:

A democracy is always temporary in nature; it simply cannot exist as a permanent form of government.

A democracy will continue to exist up until the time that voters discover they can vote themselves generous gifts from the public treasury. From that moment on, the majority always vote for the candidates who promise the most benefits from the public treasury, with the result that every democracy will finally collapse due to loose fiscal policy, which is always followed by a dictatorship.

The average age of the world's greatest civilisations from the beginning of history, has been 200 years. During those 200 years, those nations always progressed through the following sequence: From bondage to spiritual faith; from spiritual faith to great courage; from great courage to liberty; from liberty to complacency; from complacency to apathy; from apathy to dependence; from dependence back into bondage.

"Question: How far down the road are we?"

Good question

New term

AS OUR schools get started on the grind for 2010, an address to an American high school by Microsoft chairman Bill Gates is worth repeating in summary:

·        Life is not fair - get used to it!

·        The world doesn't care about your self-esteem. The world will expect you to accomplish something before you feel good about yourself.

·        You will NOT make $60 000 a year right out of high school. You won't be a vice-president with a car phone until you earn both.

·        If you think your teacher is tough, wait until you get a boss.

·        Flipping burgers is not beneath your dignity. Your grandparents had a different word for burger flipping: they called it opportunity.

 

·        If you mess up, it's not your parents' fault , so don't whine about your mistakes, learn from them.

·        Before you were born, your parents weren't as boring as they are now. They got that way from paying your bills, cleaning your clothes and listening to you talk about how cool you thought you were. So before you save the rain forest from the parasites of your parents' generation, try delousing the closet in your own room.

·        Your school may have done away with winners and losers, but life has not. In some schools, they have abolished failing grades and they'll give you as many times as you want to get the right answer. This doesn't bear the slightest resemblance to anything in real life.

·        Life is not divided into semesters. You don't get summers off and very few employers are interested in helping you find yourself. Do that in your own time.

·        Television is not real life. In real life people actually have to leave the coffee shop and go to jobs.

·        Be nice to nerds. Chances are you'll end up working for one.

Tailpiece

A New army computer is being tested. An officer keys in the question: "How far is it from the barracks gate to the armoury?"

The computer responds: "Seven hundred."

Officer: "Seven hundred what?"

Computer: "Seven hundred, Sir!"

Last word

 

Two wrongs don't make a right, but they make a good excuse.

Thomas Szasz

GRAHAM LINSCOTT