Drake's drum
back in
service?
I have singed the beard of the King of Spain,
And carried away the Dean of Jaen,
And sold him in Algiers …
OKAY, that was Sir Francis Drake back in the 16th century – an earlier Elizabethan age – but this kind of forcefulness in foreign affairs is frowned on today. Will Boris Johnson's election victory nevertheless bring a new assertiveness to the Brexit soapie?
Are the Brits about to sail the seas, as of old, to build up a trading empire, independent of the foreign rotters across the Channel?
Er, perhaps we need to amend British to "English". The Scottish Nationalists all but wiped out the Tories and others in the same election, making it difficult to argue with the Scots' demand for their own independence, which would be a withdrawal in miniature of Britain's withdrawal from Europe (and, some would say, equally pointless and damaging).
Also, it seems Northern Ireland could depart from the United Kingdom. Bojo's withdrawal "deal" with the EU already leaves them half-in, half-out of the EU, with a customs border down the Irish Sea (which he'd promised would not happen).
And in the same election, for the first time ever the Irish nationalists (most of whom do not take up their seats at Westminster) polled more votes than the Unionists.
Also, the Good Friday Agreement provides for a referendum in Northern Ireland on unification with the Republic in the south (a member of the EU) should sentiment on such matters change.
So the issue could become not so much EU regulations on the curvature of bananas (one of Bojo's favourite themes) but a redesigning of the Union Jack.
Headwinds could lie ahead for Bojo. He has to negotiate a trade deal with the EU to compensate for relinquishing leading membership of the world's largest, wealthiest and most sophisticated trading bloc. Otherwise the Brits are left paddling a barbed-wire canoe up a sewer.
But Donald Trump is standing by with a super-duper trade deal to compensate. Er, no. It's not in his gift. Such a deal has to go through Congress – it can take years – and the House of Representatives has already said it will pass no deal that threatens the Good Friday Agreement. (There's a strong Irish lobby in the US).
Oh dear. So do the Brits then sail the seas to find new trading partners? The Solomon Islands? Lesotho? Isipingo?
Will this Brexit soapie turn out a Brexit weepie?
Runaways
OVERHEARD in the Street Shelter for the Over-Forties: "What do you do if your best friend runs away with your husband? You miss her terribly."
Borrowed time
DURBAN poet Sarita Mathur gives us some lines on borrowed time.
Borrowed time
That's all of us
Living in the present.
That's why it's called , 'The Present',
It's a gift.
Let's love and laugh
Gratitude is the key
It all becomes very simple
When we realise
From sunset to sunrise
That we're living on 'Borrowed Time'
In health
And that is wealth
Let's in gratitude be,
Let not misfortune fall on us
For us to see
That we're living on 'Borrowed Time '
Tailpiece
HOW many Brexiteers does it take to change a lightbulb>
None. They call a Polish electrician.
Last word
The only thing that scares me more than space aliens is the idea that there aren't any space aliens. We can't be the best that creation has to offer. I pray we're not all there is. If so, we're in big trouble. - Ellen DeGeneres
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