Idler, Thursday, December 19, 2019

The ladies

rule in the

frozen north

BROUHAHA in the Baltic. Estonia's foreign minister Mart Helme, a man, describe's Finland's new prime minister, 34-year-old Sanna Masrin as a "sales girl".

There's an uproar. Estonian President Kersti Kaljulaid (a woman) apologises. Helme says he was "misunderstood".

Sanna Masrin leads a coalition of Finnish parties, each one led by a woman.

And just you watch 15-year-old Swedish climate activist Greta Thunberg – she'll be the next secretary-general of the UN.

Former US president Barack Obama is on to it. He says the world would be far better run by women.

Don't the gals get it? The fellows are making way, leaving the heavy work to them. The guys want to just play golf and drink beer together.

 

 

 

Batman and Boris

 

READER Richard Isemonger, of Hillcrest, says Donald Trump in that long black coat reminds him of Batman or of the spaghetti westerns. It prompts him into a bit of scriptwriting involving Donald and Boris:

Batman to Boris: "Congratulations on your presidency. Now set aside that long road that leads to the big place where your queen lives. Buy a long black coat and practice walking towards the press. Have a running helicopter nearby so you can shout at them."

Boris to Batman: "I am not a president and that road is longer than yours. I would rather use my bike. My voice is not strong and a long coat is no good when I have to tuck my shirt tail in."

Batman to Boris: "OK, but get a better hairstyle, like me. No-one will see your shirt tail."

Boris to Batman: "I don't like orange hair."

Batman to Boris: "Blue will be OK. Get a long red tie. Remember to shout. They will write fake news if they don't hear you."

Boris: "Roger."

Batman: "Get a First Lady."

Boris: "Roger."

Batman: "Who is this Roger? I have not met her."

Boris: "My dog."

Batman: "Is she good looking?"

Boris: "I think he is good looking."

Batman: "Clap you hands, use thumbs-up, and point to people when you address crowds. They like it."

Boris: "In this country they'll think I'm unhinged."

Batman: "Don't worry what people think. By the way, I have a favour to ask ..."

 

Boris: "Hello? Hello?…" (Line cuts off).

Ha, ha! Er, what's Richard getting at?

 

 

Electronic age

HEY, a new poet on thre block. Joan Truscott pens some lines on the electronic age.

Cellphones, tablets and computers
It's an electronic age.
Being connected is all the rage.
Instagram, Twitter and Facebook.
People use devices wherever you look.
Googling for info
Will tell you what you want to know.
Gone are the days of letter writing
Sending emails is more exciting.
We used to communicate face to face
Now using whatsapp is more commonplace.
Children no longer know how to spell,
Their grammar is faulty as well.
Abbreviations in messages are fine
Even a funny face or sign.
Social media is the buzzword
Wherever you go, it is heard.
Sometimes we need to put our gadgets away
Find out what living without technology
is about.

 

Tailpiece

 

A SCOTSMAN takes a huge jar of urine to the climic to have it tested. The results come back. There is no sign of any illness.

He takes out his mobile phone. "It's me, Wullie. Tell yer Aunty Mary there's nothing wrong with you, her, me, Grandpa or the dog."

 

 

Last word

 

The intelligent man finds almost everything ridiculous, the sensible man hardly anything. - Johann Wolfgang von Goethe