Prince Harry
gets bitten on
the backside
BACK in harness after the Christmas break, a pleasant interlude up in Maritzburg with younger relatives who continue to distress me with the way they mistreat their beautiful little French bulldog named Harry, after the prince.
Readers might recall my previous misgivings as to the way they treat this poor little blighter by pointing a red laser beam onto the floor. Harry goes almost crazy chasing the red dot about the place, screaming hysterically as they switch it about.
A French bulldog is more like a terrier than his clumsy, slobbering English bulldog cousin and this Harry is an absolute livewire. He does not deserve to be laughed at the way they do and I fear that he could develop a neurosis.
Also, a miniature black panther named George has been added to the younger relatives' menage. They say he's a cat, but I say a small panther (and a panther is a cat anyway).
A panther because this George is in constant hunting mode, crouched low, tail swishing furiously. His favourite trick is to hide in the shrubbery then pounce on Prince Harry, biting him on the backside.
Then the game is on. French bull terrier versus miniature black panther. Gales of laughter from the onlookers. This is most demeaning of our furry friends and is most definitely a case for the SPCA.
Cricket seesaw
WHAT an absorbing few days of Test cricket. And phew! No need after all to yank Jacques Kallis, Graeme Smith and Mark Boucher out of backroom coaching and into the starting line-up. No need to second Siya and Faf from the Bok squad. The lads are handling it. But given the CSA high-jinks – the threat even of a players' strike – anything could have happened.
This First Test against the Poms has been a seesaw, a study in skills and strategy, proving yet again this this is the purest form of cricket. Put another way, Test cricket is chess, limited overs draughts and T-20 pocket billiards.
One hears commentators and others talking these days about players needing a bit more "red ball cricket" to get in the right mode for Test cricket.
One shudders. But it's true. So much cricket is played these days with a white ball (which behaves differently from the red) on plumb wickets, and wearing pyjamas instead of whites, that getting back to the real game is an adjustment.
Yes, I'm a traditionalist. Harrumph!
Cold-nosed dog
MORE from Rosemarie Jarski's Great British wit. Topic: Pop Music.
· All rock 'n roll singers sound like a nudist backing into a cold-nosed dog – set to music. – Robert Orben.
· Most people get into bands for three simple reasons: to get laid, to get fame and to get rich. – Bob Geldof.
· The greatest achievement of Punk rock was the way it made flared trousers unfashionable. - Tony Parsons.
· I think Mick Jagger would be astounded and amazed if he realised to how many people he is not a sex symbol. – Angie Bowie.
· I'm the only man who can says he's been in Take That and at least two members of the Spice Girls. – Robert Williams.
· Does Paul McCartney make records just to annoy me personally? – Alex Harvey.
Tailpiece
THIS fellow goes to the doctor's.
"I've got a cricket ball lodged in my rectum."
"How's that?"
"Now don't you start."
Last word
Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to an understanding of ourselves. –
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