Idler, Tuesday, December 3, 2019

A town

changes

its name

THE Canadian town of Asbestos is changing its name. The town, about 150km from Montreal, knew boom times when asbestos was a popular building material and nobody suspected the health risks associated with it.

But the mine at Asbestos closed seven years ago, leaving an artificial canyon almost 2km across. It's a scene of desolation, a desolation that these days resonates with the very name Asbestos.

So the townsfolk have decided to change the name, make a fresh start, according to Sky News. But they haven't announced yet what the new name will be. We hope it will be something imaginative, not just a switch to "Concrete" or "Rooftile" to get away from asbestos. No, they must escape the past altogether.

They must choose something imaginative, freeranging, evocative of Canada's expanses of wild, natural beauty.

Then when they've decided, they should twin with our own Tweebuffelsmeteenskootmorsdoodgeskietfontein. (Twobuffaloshotstonedeadwithoneshotfountain). Then twin also with the Welsh town of Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch.

That's the way to make a fresh start.

 

 

Spoiled rotten

CALL me a spoiled brat. I find myself at Point Yacht Club in the company of gorgeous blonde wordsmith and foodie Wanda Hennig plus a delightful couple. We are tucking into a magnificent repast of Greek culinary art, prepared by restaurateur Nick Papadopolous and his team.

Nick runs the Anchorage restaurant at PYC but this "Eat Greek" extravaganza is something they put on once a month in the old dining room upstairs because there wouldn't be room in the restaurant for the 200-odd people who have turned up.

It's q        uite a bunfight and the Greek delicacies are unbelievably good and there in vast abundance. A most jolly set-up.

And the spoiling continues. (It's my boitday, you see). Next we're at the couple's flat and watching a preview of The Irishman, a movie that is absolutely absorbing for various reasons.

It's directed by Martin Scorsese. Among the star-studded cast are Robert de Niro, Al Pacino and Joe Pesci. That alone says plenty.

The Irishman (De Niro) is Frank Sheeran, a World War II veteran who has somehow drifted into becoming a hitman for the mobsters who ran so much of America in the 50s and 60s. But the Irishman comes across as actually quite an ordinary guy, a family man concerned for the welfare of his four daughters. He also becomes a bosom buddy of Jimmy Passo, leader of The Teamsters, a trade union with strong underworld connections, and a relationship with truly tragic consequences..

The JF Kennedy assassination comes into it. Also the Bobby Kennedy assassination. Also the Bay of Pigs fiasco in Cuba. It seems the underworld played a big part in JF Kennedy's electoral. success. The assassinations? This movie keeps prompting all kinds of questions. How close might it be to the truth?

And the piece de resistance. These stars are today all of them old-timers. The movie covers a lengthy timespan. It was shot over 12 years, using a computerised process that restores De Niro and the others to their appearance in their younger days.

Truly amazing. So clever these mobsters.

Tailpiece

A SALESMAN knocks on a front door. It's opened by a small boy holding a glass of brandy and smoking a cigar.

"Is your mother home?"

He taps the ash off his cigar. "Now what the heck do you think?"

 

Last word

Camping is nature's way of promoting the motel business. - Dave Barry