Relax – there's
something big
in the offing
THE world is beset by storms of both natural and human origin. Hurricane Dorian batters the Bahamas and threatens the US East Coast; the Amazon rain forest is ravaged by wildfires; Hong Kong is convulsed by political demonstrations; hospitals are being bombed in Syria, hare-trigger stand-offs characterise Kashmir, as well as various parts of the Middle East; Britain is in turmoil over Brexit.
Yet within this welter of confusion and chaos, something positive. A huge international real estate deal is beginning to unfold. Denmark wants to buy the US, according to the New Yorker.
"After rebuffing Donald J Trump's hypothetical proposal to purchase Greenland, the government of Denmark has announced that it would be interested in buying the US instead," it says.
"'As we have stated, Greenland is not for sale,' a spokesperson for the Danish government said. 'We have noted, however, that during the Trump regime pretty much everything in the US, including its government, has most definitely been for sale.
"'Denmark would be interested in purchasing the US in its entirety, with the exception of its government,' the spokesperson added.
"A key provision of the purchase offer, the spokesperson said, would be the relocation of Donald Trump to another country 'to be determined,' with Russia and North Korea cited as possible destinations.
"If Denmark's bid for the US is accepted, the Scandinavian nation has ambitious plans for its new acquisition. 'We believe that, by giving the US an educational system and national health care, it could be transformed from a vast land mass into a great nation,' the spokesperson said."
Yes, this is satirist Andy Borowitz again.
Pole dancers
IS THIS taking robotics and artificial intelligence too far? An exotic dance club in France is to celebrate its fifth anniversary by featuring two robot pole dancers in high heels, each having a CCTV camera for a head.
A preview shot on Sky News shows the two dancers in action. It seems not exactly what pole dance patrons are after. It suggests that, ingenious as the gimmick may be, the 10-gal regular dance troupe at the SC-Club in Nantes have nothing to fear from the robotic competition.
Weirdo deliveries
SOME weird goings-on in the American state of Virginia. Householders in Henrico County have been waking up to find an old, bulky TV set dumped on their front porch, according to Huffington Post.
CCTV footage has recorded the actual delivery in certain cases. A fellow in a sort of space suit, but with a television set on his shoulders where the space helmet should be, walks up carrying a TV set. He carefully sets it down on the porch, then leaves. No message, no explanation.
The police think it's a prank by college kids and aren't too fussed, though there is an offence involved – dumping rubbish. Also there's the schlepp of picking up the sets from householders who complain. So far they've picked up about 60.
They expect the nocturnal deliveries to tail off as examination time approaches.
Tailpiece
A CLERGYMAN is walking down the street when he sees a small boy struggling to ring a doorbell that he can't reach. He walks up behind the boy and gives the bell a solid ring.
"How now, my little man?" he smiles.
"Now we run like blazes!"
Last word
What is life but a series of inspired follies? The difficulty is to find them to do. Never lose a chance: it doesn't come every day. - George Bernard Shaw
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