More perplexing
than the Rugby
World Cup
SPARE a thought for British prime minister Boris Johnson. Since taking office he's suffered six humiliating defeats in the House of Commons. Every time he looks, another of his Tory MPs has defected to the Liberal Democrats.
Parliament has passed a law forbidding a "no deal" crash-out Brexit on October 31 and requiring him to approach the EU for an extension of the deadline if he hasn't negotiated a deal by then..
The other day he was ambushed in Luxembourg (a country about the size of Hyde Park) by a crowd of rowdies demonstrating against Brexit, led by that country's prime minister.
Right now in the Supreme Court he's being accused by lawyers of unlawfully proroguing parliament to evade scrutiny of his Brexit manoeuvres. He's also accused of fibbing to the queen.
Can it get worse? Well, yes it can if the American publication the New Yorker is to be believed. According to the New Yorker, Queen Elizabeth has been training her corgis to attack Johnson if he comes to Buckingham Palace again.
"The Queen reportedly supervised the corgis' training herself, instructing them to lunge at Prince Charles, who wore a shaggy yellow wig for the exercise.
"'When the corgis tore into Charles's trousers, the terror in his eyes was palpable,' one observer said. 'The Queen looked very happy.'"
"'There's only room for one unelected ruler in this country,' she reportedly declared."
Yes, this is that rascally Andy Borowitz again. Bojo really is in trouble. Even the satirists are against him.
Where does all this end? It's easier to predict the outcome of the Rugby World Cup.
Innocence
AS WE DIGEST the crime statistics released recently, it's astonishing to read that in places like Florida, in the US, people go to bed at night leaving their doors unlocked.
But is it wise? At a place called Safety Harbor a householder woke about 4am to find an intruder had come in through the unlocked back door and was cooking himself a meal.
When the householder objected he was told to "go back to sleep." But instead he phoned the sheriff's men.
When they arrived, the intruder rushed off into the darkness. The posse followed and caught him in a swampy, wooded area. He turned out to be a 19-year-old Marine, more than somewhat intoxicated. Boys will be boys.
Is there not a great innocence in this account by Huffington Post?
Gold loo
THE cops have made a second arrest in connection with the burglary at Blenheim Palace, in England, in which an 18-carat gold toilet was stolen.
Blenheim Palace is the seat of the Duke of Marlborough. The gold toilet was situated (in recent times) just adjacent to the bedroom where Winston Churchill was born, later to become prime minister of Britain.
The toilet is worth £4.8 million (R88m) according to Sky News.
Just the place to spend a penny.
Tailpiece
She: "I'm going to the store. Do you want anything?"
He: "I want a sense of meaning and purpose in my life. I seek fulfillment and completeness within my soul. I want to connect with the mysteries of existence, discover the spiritual side of me, contemplate the wonders of this universe …
She: "Be more specific. Beer or vodka?"
Last word
I think that one possible definition of our modern culture is that it is one in which nine-tenths of our intellectuals can't read any poetry. Randall Jarrell
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