Bigfoot,
the giant
man-ape
THE legend still swirls of Bigfoot, the giant man-ape – or maybe giant grizzly bear – that inhabits the forests of North America. He's a bit like the Yeti – or Abominable Snowman – of Nepal, sometimes glimpsed in the distance, sometimes leaving tracks in the snow but seemingly never directly encountered.
Confusing though, I have met Bigfoot. In fact I worked with him in days of yore in various parts of Africa. But this was the nickname of Peter Younghusband, hulking – and highly entertaining - doyen of the foreign press corps in those days. He has since retired to a wine farm in the Western Cape.
Back to the mysterious Bigfoot. A fellow in North Carolina, in the US, says he's captured footage of Bigfoot and two of his fellow Bigfeet in the woods of Catawba Valley.
The footage wasn't clear (it never is). But it showed something moving on the other side of a set of trees, according to Huffington Post.
But Doug Teague, who shot the video, says he spotted three ape-like cryptids. He says he often goes into the woods looking for Bigfoot and his pals. He leaves snacks to lure them.
"They like granola bars, apples, mushrooms, turnips, Moon Pies," he says. "They like sweets."
Wow! Granola bars, apples, mushrooms – that's exactly what the Bigfoot I used to know found irresistible (besides beer). I really must check whether Younghusband has been on holiday in the Catawba Valley, North Carolina.
Ramblng
OVERHEARD in the Street Shelter for the Over-Forties: "I wanted to join the local rambling club but the fellow I got on the phone went on and on and on."
Shocked
AN AMERICAN perspective on the British parliament's taking control of the Brexit process. It appears in the New Yorker.
"Americans were shocked on Tuesday by the spectacle of a legislative body appearing to take action.
"Across the US, television viewers watched with mouths agape at startling images of legislators seemingly intent on performing their constitutional duties.
"Adding to Americans' sense of astonishment, the legislators showed evidence of putting their country before party in an effort to rein in the actions of a reckless leader who had not garnered the majority of his nation's votes.
"Even more baffling to US viewers, the legislators were furious that the leader had reduced the number of days that they had to show up to do their jobs.
"Harland Dorrinson, who watched the bizarre proceedings on television at a bar in Pittsburgh, was 'totally perplexed' by what he saw.
"'From what I could tell, the legislators were providing oversight over the executive branch in order to protect their country from disaster,'" he said. 'It was so weird.'"
As a satirist, Andy Borowitz was of course really writing about his own country.
Still trying
A PICTURE comes this way of a spaceship flying through the cosmos. Caption: "The year is 2259. Earth is a member of the United Federation of Planets. Minus the United Kingdom which is still trying to leave the EU."
Tailpiece
HOSPITAL doctors went on strike. They were picketing. The hospital management send a pharmacist to read the demands on their placards.
Last word
If you put tomfoolery into a computer, nothing comes out of it but tomfoolery. But this tomfoolery, having passed through a very expensive machine, is somehow ennobled and no-one dares criticise it. - Pierre Gallois
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