Friday, September 13, 2019

The Idler, Thursday, September 5,2019

Cantona's

stirring

speech

 

FORMER Manchester United striker Eric Cantona had them totally confused in Monaco the other night as he made a short speech when he received the Uefa President's Award for his charity work.

What language was he speaking? Russian? Nobody could understand him.

Actually the Frenchman was giving a strongly accented rendition of a passage from Shakespeare's King Lear.

"As flies to wanton boys are we for the gods. They kill us for the sport," he said.

Then he branched into philosophy. "Soon the science will not only be able to slow down the ageing of the cells," he said. "Soon the science will fix the cells to the state and so we will become eternal.

"Only accidents, crimes, wars, will still kill us. Unfortunately, crimes, wars will multiply. I love football. Thank you."

The nonplussed audience applauded in mystification.

Bravo!

 

 

Confusion reigns

MORE nonplussment. Ian Holloway, former manager of Queen's Park Rangers, blames the European Union for a controversial new handball rule in Premier League football, which cost Manchester City a win against Tottenham.

He told Sky Sport that he thinks the EU should stop "telling us what we do with our game".

City would have won the match the game 3-2, but a video assistant referee (VAR) ruled that the ball had brushed the hand of a City defender before reaching the striker of what at first appeared to be a goal.

The new rule stipulates that any contact between a player's hand or arm with the ball must be disciplined, even if it was an accident. But it was introduced by the International Football Association, not the EU.

Holloway said he believed the rule and the use of VAR should be scrapped, adding: "I hope we get out, Brexit, because that's what we all voted for. You cannot have someone telling us how to do our own game."

Feelings are running high in Blighty. Confusion reigns.

 

 

Age of Trump

 

President Donald Trump really needs to take some advice before firing off his tweets, which can backfire dreadfully.

Last week he tweeted on "The Age of Trump", according to Huffington Post, apparently unaware of the absurdity of such grandiloquence

He tweeted: "When the 'Age of Trump' is looked back on many years from now, I only hope that a big part of my legacy will be the exposing of massive dishonesty in the Fake News!"

The tweet trended. But Trump probably would not have been pleased by some of the responses, Examples:

·       Wondered why everyone was suddenly tweeting about the "Age of Trump." OF COURSE it's because Trump, the king of narcissists, tweeted it. Your 4 years as president doesn't qualify as an AGE, even if only 2½ years does feel like an aeon. You're really not that important.

·       LOL he just said the "Age of Trump." The only megalomaniacs who named an entire age after themselves ended up destroying their nations in huge dumpster fires. Even Hitler called it the Third Reich and not the Age of Hitler. Trump is a parody of himself.

There was also some disagreement among those who responded:

·       "The Age of Trump" is roughly six and a half.

·       4 years old is "The Age of Trump".

·       Age of Trump is 5.

 

 

Tailpiece

 

HOW many Brexiteers does it take to change a lightbulb?

None. They call a Polish electrician.

 

Last word

 

Nobody in the game of football should be called a genius. A genius is somebody like Norman Einstein. - Joe Theismann

No comments:

Post a Comment