Those English
surnames
crop up again
LAST week, we discussed the peculiarity of various English surnames. The names Shufflebottom, Ramsbottom, Sidebottom, Smellie-Hogg and Huntgrub came up.
On the sports pages my rugby writing colleague Mike Greenaway had an amusing piece about the Boks' match against Japan in the World Cup England in England four years ago. A few days before the match the team went on a relaxed trip to the seaside town of Eastbourne.
In a speech of thanks to the local mayor after a civic reception, skipper Jean de Villiers quipped: "Mrs Mayor you say that a local attraction is Beachyhead, the highest chalk cliff in England. I hear it is also a popular suicide spot. Well, if we don't win this match (Japan), there will be 31 green and gold lemmings returning to jump off that cliff …"
Mike continues: "Just six days later it appeared as though De Villiers had visited Beachyhead and it was his ghost seated at the post-match press conference. Gaunt and pale with shock, he could barely speak …"
Next Mike gets an email from Cape Town. "While I loved your article in this morning's Times ('The day the Boks almost went to Beachyhead'), I was horrified at your spelling of Beachy Head. I should know, our surname emanates from there and is also often misspelled!! I however will not throw myself off Beachy Head because of your typo. Paul Beachy Head."
Yes, you don't trifle with the Shufflebottoms, Ramsbottoms, Sidebottoms, Smellie-Hoggs, Huntgrubs and Beachy Heads of this world.
A close shave
PHEW! Talking of which, a close shave for the Boks against Japan. Also for the All Blacks against Tonga. That's what you call warm-ups.
It's the real thing in a couple of weeks, Boks versus All Blacks. This is the big 'un.
'Erewego, 'erewego, 'erewego!
Photo fun
Meanwhile. the photo of Tory Brexiteer Jacob Rees-Mogg dozing prone on the front benches of the House of Commons, has been doing the rounds on the internet in various settings.
As mentioned last week, One has his angular figure outlined in red as a graphic illustration of the drop in the Tory majority from 17, to 11, to 8, to 1, to minus 1, to minus 43.
Another has him doing a back flip over the bar in an athletics high jump event.
Yet another has him floating in the same posture down a stream, a take-off ofOphelia, Sir John Everrett's famous 19th century painting depicting Shakespeare's character in Hamlet singing just before she drowned.
Now the same prone shot of Rees-Mogg, Leader of the House in the Commons, has been projected, hugely magnified, onto the walls of Edinburgh Castle with the caption: "Lying Tory".
Those Scottish Nationalists stop at nothing.
And he's also moved on to Northern Ireland. On Twitter he's shown reclining on a road sign at the border between Northern Ireland and the Republic.
Coming toward him, suspended from a foofee slide and waving two Union Jacks, is his prime minister, Boris Johnson.
Caption: "The new Irish Border Guards".
The Poms are in a pickle but they haven't lost the ability to laugh.
.
Tailpiece
WHAT sleeps at the bottom of the ocean?
Jack the kipper.
Last word
The difference between a democracy and a dictatorship is that in a democracy you vote first and take orders later; in a dictatorship you don't have to waste your time voting.
Charles Bukowski
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