Bad haircuts
taking
punishment?
IS IT PUNISHMENT season for bad haircut politicians?
Bad haircut politician No 1: Boris Johnson has been having a torrid time. Since becoming British prime minister he's lost a by-election, lost seven votes in the House of Commons, lost MPs who have crossed to the Liberal Democrats, lost 21 senior MPs who he fired from the party and he's lost in the Supreme Court, which found that he unlawfully attempted to prorogue parliament.
Now a blonde lady pole-dancer, a "close friend" whose flat he used to visit while mayor of London, has become the focus of attention as the London authorities investigate whether there was anything improper about the £100 000 (R1.8m) in public money which her company received; also whether there was anything improper in her being included in marketing trips abroad.
If there is anything in this theory of bad haircuts being punished, this torrid phase for Bojo would appear to bear it out.
Bad haircut politician No 2: Donald Trump is being investigated for possible impeachment by the House of Representatives following the claim by a whistleblower (apparently from the CIA) that he phoned the Ukranian president and asked him to help dig up dirt on his probable opponent in the next presidential election, Joe Biden.
Where this might lead, who knows? But it's certainly a lot of uphill for another bad haircut.
Bad haircut politician No 3: Kim Jong-un (The Young 'Un) of North Korea. But that's such a secretive and repressed place that nobody knows for sure what's going on
And now another haircut. Springbok flyhalf Elton Jantjies used to have the most outrageously bad haircut in world rugby. But in Japan now for the World Cup he's conservatively short back and sides. He played a blinder in his opening match. It makes ya think.
Jilted
MEANWHILE, the New Yorker reports that Russian President Vladimir Putin is distraught over the accusations against Donald Trump
He said he was "saddened and hurt" that Trump had asked a different foreign country to meddle in a US election.
"'I thought when it came to election meddling that Donald and I were exclusive,' an emotional Putin told reporters. 'This feels like a betrayal.'
"Putin said that when he read the call summary of the phone conversation between Trump and the President of Ukraine, 'I could not believe my eyes. It was just like the conversations Donald and I used to have.'
"'We had something special, but now that's gone,' Putin said. 'I feel so used.'"
Yes, this is that skebenga satirist Andy Borowitz again, being unkind to a bad haircut.
Banking
IN HIS latest grumpy newsletter, investment analyst James Greener turns his attention to the banking sector.
"Sabric is the acronym for the SA Banking Risk Information Centre, an outfit that few will have heard of, or maybe confused with an industrial association of brick manufacturers.
"Their big concern, however, is that internet-based scams are becoming ever more sophisticated and successful at emptying bank accounts unlawfully.
"Meanwhile South Africans are a bit disappointed that the threatened strike by bank staff did not go ahead. It was hoped that the angry tellers would follow the example set by the striking garbage collectors and strew the streets with notes."
Tailpiece
HOW many Scotsmen does it take to change a lightbulb?
"Och, it's no that dark."
Last word
No tyranny is so irksome as petty tyranny: the officious demands of policemen, government clerks, and electromechanical gadgets. - Edward Abbey
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