Relax –
pensioners
dance in the streets
IF YOU think things are tough, thank your stars that you're not in Zimbabwe. Two regular newsletters paint the same alarming picture.
First the grumpy one of investment analyst Dr James Greener. "The sad and alarming news that Zimbabwe looks to be once again destroying itself with its new currency by sliding into uncontrollable inflation is yet another chapter in the book about the dangers of centrally run economies.
"Among the early signs of most financial calamities is the appearance of spuriously accurate statistics. That nation's inflation rate is now quoted to five significant figures as being 175.66% pa. What this means is that consumers are now faced with average prices almost three times higher than a year ago."
Then the vivid newsletter of professional writer Cathy Buckle: "A red light or high-pitched alarm are the two most dreaded things in our lives in Zimbabwe today. They mean that the car has almost run out of fuel, the prepaid electricity meter is about to run out of money, the phone battery is almost flat, the internet connection has gone, the inverter battery is dying. And when the red lights go off completely we just grind to a halt.
"After weeks of 12 to 17 hours a day power cuts we are worn down to a frazzle. Getting up in the middle of the night, every night, to cook, charge batteries and electronic equipment, catch up on domestic chores, work on computers, meet deadlines and keep any sort of production going, is taking a heavy toll on all of us …"
She says the government has decreed that trade shall now be in the new Zimbabwe dollar, not the US dollar. When she tried to change $10 (US) for Zim dollars, her bank told her to come back next day because unfortunately they had no cash. "You might be lucky".
"As I write, the whole town has had no water for over a week …"
Are we folk south of the Limpopo getting some kind of message from the future? Relax! Back to Greener on the Reserve Bank's reduction of the repo rate from 6.75% to 6.5%.
"Wowee! Pensioners dancing in the streets, shops limiting customers to one trolley each, boom time is back. (New readers are cautioned that excessive irony is an occupational hazard)."
But he says it was at least a signal.
Bad prang
A POLICE car is not the sort of vehicle you want to crash into. Especially not when it is innocently parked in front of the police station. And most especially not when your own vehicle is a van loaded with 270kg of illegal drugs with a street value of $200 million Australian (R1.9bn).
But that's what happened in Sydney, according to Sky News. The drug was meth, also known as "ice".
Smasho! The cops rushed outside, gripped the 28-year-old driver then, when they searched his van, added another item to the charge sheet.
We're not told if the driver had been sampling his wares.
Tailpiece
A PRIVATE detective is reporting back to his woman client.
"Yesterday I followed your husband to two bars on Elm Street, three on Maple and finally to the Humpmore Motel."
"I see. Do you think this is grounds for divorce?"
"I'm not sure. He was following you."
Last word
The spirit of resistance to government is so valuable on certain occasions, that I wish it always to be kept alive. - Thomas Jefferson
No comments:
Post a Comment