Housing
crisis in
Britain
OVER in Blighty, the race hots up for leadership of the Tory party, which currently also means the prime ministership.
It's been enlivened of late by news that the police were called in the early hours to the flat in Camberwell, south London, that frontrunner Boris Johnson shares with his girlfriend, to investigate female screams, shouting, banging and crashing. They apparently found nothing amiss and left. (The poltergeists are a real problem in Camberwell).
Johnson and his wife divorced a while ago.
Now satirical magazine Private Eye has come out with a front cover photograph of Boris Johnson clutching a hold-all outside No 10 Downing Street, the prime minister's official residence.
Speaks bubble: "I really need somewhere to live!"
Yeah, it's tough to be a bachelor again. Some say the prime ministership is a poisoned chalice right now because the Tories don't have a majority in the House of Commons and the House has already ruled out the "no deal" Brexit that Johnson appears to champion.
But at least it would give poor old Boris a roof over his head.
New guide
INVESTMENT analyst Dr James Greener expresses sympathy in his latest grumpy newsletter with the lot of our overworked political leaders.
"Those of us who are concerned about the working conditions for our leaders are very relieved to hear that a new guide to replace the infamous Ministerial Handbook has finally been published.
"Among the improved conditions for our severely overworked ministers, deputy ministers, provincial premiers and other feeders on the public purse is that the state can spend a quarter of a million (inflation linked) rands on security measures for their official residences.
"Meanwhile the nation's 257 mayors (why so few?) are being urged to give up luxury vehicles and use public transport in order to cut costs.
"The even more lowly ranked Amakhosi (traditional leaders) and izinduna (headmen) are also very likely to ignore this advice as they are currently lobbying for free wi-fi and briefcases with a set of car keys - presumably with a matching car - upon appointment."
Convocation
AN ASSEMBLAGE of rare talent and brilliance takes place at Maritzburg College early next month, a convocation of excellence.
The school has produced many a prodigy in its century and a half plus of existence, but nothing compares with the Sixth Form of 1959 for producing lovers, sportsmen, financiers, farmers, musicians, artists, intellectuals and fine all-rounders generally.
Why, one of them once took 4 for 32 with his artful legbreaks for the Durban Press XI against the RAF Red Arrows, and wound up writing the Idler's column.
They will be celebrating their 60th anniversary of leaving College with a lunch at the school on Friday, August 2. Anyone wishing to attend should contact Linda Laubscher by July 12 at 033-3429878/082-8228199/oldboys@iafrica.com
This will be a humdinger.
Proteas bow out
HEY, the smart money says the Proteas will go out on a high today with a win over Australia in their final match of the Cricket World Cup.
Too late for the play-offs but 'twould be a great morale-booster after an otherwise disastrous showing. Nothing at stake, minds in the right place – let's show 'em!
Tailpiece
PADDY phones the hospital in a panic. "Me woife's pregnant, she's gone into labour and de contractions are two minutes apart
"Is this her first child?"
"No, dis is her husband!"
Last word
Hell hath no fury like a bureaucrat scorned. - Milton Friedman
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