Can the
Proteas come
to light?
TOMORROW is D-Day – donner the bliksems. The only way the Proteas can leave England on any kind of high note is to beat the Aussies in this last pool match of the Cricket World Cup.
Otherwise it's rather thin gruel. Bafana have all but blown it in the Afcon. We're trying to forget about Super-12 rugby. Perhaps our gals will lift national morale with a decent performance in the Netball World Cup later this month, but not all of us get that excited about netball.
You could argue that a South African racehorse is certain to win the Vodacom July at Greyville tomorrow, but that's stretching it a bit. Also, there's always the possibility that an itinerate Irishman or Aussie could take the gilt off the gingerbread by winning the final race, the one where the fellows do a streak down the home straight in the altogether in the gathering dusk.
No, the onus is on the Proteas. This time they must come to light. They've never once performed to their known capacity, it's been as if they don't have their minds on the game. Could it be the IPL that's the big distraction?
They must get focused and stay focused. National morale is at stake. Of course they can beat the Aussies.
And you know what? I reckon they probably will.
Meanwhile, it seems we'll have lovely weather for the Vodacom July. The fashionistas should give us a good laugh, they always do.
My tip for the Big Race? Put your money on Itchybum – that's if it's not scratched.
Milligan
YESTERDAY we discussed Spike Milligan's hilarious book, Puckoon, from which readings were made this week at the St Clement's arts soiree.
Milligan, of course, was no stranger to Durban. His comedy show was staged here regularly. And when he was in town he took a keen interest in marine science. He was very concerned about the welfare of the octopus in the Sea World aquarium, in those days at the bottom of West Street.
My old mate Dr Rudi van der Elst would read in the papers that Milligan was in town again. He would await his visit.
"You're still ill-treating that octopus!" Milligan would rage.
"In what way, Spike?"
"You've still got him in a tiny little crevice in the rocks.
"That's the way octopuses like to be, Spike."
"Nonsense! Octopuses like to swim free in the ocean."
"Spike, if an octopus swims free in the ocean it gets chowed pretty quickly by a barracuda or something."
"Nonsense! You've been ill-treating that octopus for years now."
"Spike, it's not the same octopus."
"What do you mean?"
"It's not the same octopus. They live only six months."
"Nonsense! It recognised me. It winked at me."
It was an argument that was never resolved.
More Milligan
WHO remembers Cilla Duff, that gorgeous and so amusing columnist on the Sunday Tribune in days of yore, now living in Canada?
Cilla had dinner with Spike Milligan one night. He spoke about nothing but rugby.
"Aren't you interested in anything but rugby?" she asked him.
"My dear, there's nothing in the world more important than rugby."
She got a great column out of it. But just as well the conversation didn't drift round to octopuses.
Tailpiece
WHAT has eight guns and terrorises the ocean?
Billy the Squid.
Last word
A conservative is a man who believes that nothing should be done for the first time. - Alfred E Wiggam
No comments:
Post a Comment