Snakes alive –
it's a
hijack!
A WOMAN in the US hijacked a car by throwing a live snake at the driver. It happened in Greenville, South Carolina, according to Sky News.
She threatened the driver of an SUVwith the snake, threw it at her then took control of the vehicle with the snake still inside.
She then proceeded to smash the SUV through several road barricades that had been set up for a pole-vaulting exhibition in the city centre.
This seriously disrupted the pole-vaulting. Meanwhile, the hijacker had injured herself smashing through the barricades and to be taken to hospital under police guard. She has been charged with hijacking, malicious damage to property and five traffic violations.
The snake has been released unharmed into a woodland.
Pole-vaulting, hijacking, snakes – it all happens in Greenville, South Carolina.
tisement
Orange gull
WILDLIFE officers in England are puzzled by a bright orange seagull that has been discovered in Buckinghamshire. The puzzlement is not so much the coloration – the gull was covered in curry powder – but how it happened.
He seemed to have somehow got himself doused in turmeric, so sodden he could not fly, according to Huffington Post. But he was taken to a wildlife hospital where they gave him a bath, got rid of the curry and named him Vinny – from vindaloo curry – and everything is now back to normal. Vinny has been released back into the wild. How he got himself immersed in curry remains a mystery.
Seven tightly wrapped cocaine bricks were found floating near a beach in Quezon province. Thirty-nine more, with a value of more than $4m (R56m), were found offshore by fishermen.
Where are they coming from? The police say the drugs could be tossed overboard anywhere as smugglers are intercepted, and then carried to the Phillipines by ocean currents
So it's more than just plastic that's infesting our oceans. Sigh! So when you see the dolphins doing backflips in the surf, you know what they've been on.
MORE from Rosemarie Jarski's Great British Wit. Topic: Clubs.
· Every Englishman is convinced of one thing: that to be an Englishman is to belong to the most exclusive club there is. –Oscar Wilde.
· Clubs – those mausoleums of inactive masculinity are places for me who prefer armchairs to women. - VS Pritchett.
· Lord Glasgow, having flung a waiter through the window of his club, brusquely ordered: "Put him on the bill". – Anthony Lejeune.
· The Greek God Zeus operformed acts with swans and heifers that would debar him from every London club except the Garrick or possibly the Naval and Military. – Stephen Fry.
· To attract attention in the dining-room of the Senior Conservative Club between the hours of one and two-thirty, you have to be a mutton chop, not an earl. - PG Wodehouse.
· The essence of an English club is that we would prefer a silver salt cellar that doesn't work to a plastic one that does. – Cecil Horton.
Tailpiece
THEY'RE on their first date. He takes her home and asks if he can come in.
"Absolutely not! I never allow a man to come in on the first date.
"Okay. How about on the last date then?"
Last word
My computer beat me at chess... so I beat it at kickboxing. - Demetri Martin
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