Transatlantic
Punch and
Judy show
THE world stage increasingly resembles a Punch and Judy show. In leaked memos to his government from the British ambassador in Washington, Sir Kim Darroch, Donald Trump is described as "incompetent", "inept" and "insecure".
The White House has become "uniquely dysfunctional", he says, with "vicious infighting and chaos". He questions whether it "will ever look competent". He describes Trump's policy toward Iran as "incoherent, chaotic …"
What price the "special relationship"? The British government hasn't denied the authenticity of the leaked memos – which appeared in the London Daily Mail - and has launched an inquiry into who did the leaking. Foreign secretary (and wannabe prime minister) Jeremy Hunt distances himself from the content.
Yep, a great Punch and Judy show. Kim Jong-un – good guy! Sir Kim Darroch – bad guy! (Just be clear which Kim you're talking about). Trump says there's plenty he could say about Sir Kim, but he won't, though he hasn't served the UK well.
You couldn't make it up.
Waterkloof
INVESTMENT analyst Dr James Greener turns his attention in his latest grumpy newsletter to the Waterkloof air base affair.
"One of the many commissions of inquiry trying to piece together the nation's recent past has reached the point in their deliberations where they are learning about the notorious Gupta family's contempt for South African sovereignty.
"The incident where they landed a chartered private plane full of wedding guests from India at a military airport is being discussed.
"The buck for allowing this to happen was at the time passed very swiftly along a line of assorted scapegoats, and now senior officers are stuttering their way through variants of the 'It was not me, I was not there' excuse.
"Apart from pride and protocol it seems that nothing else was compromised or stolen except for confirmation that politicians and officials have zero skills in selecting friends or advisors."
Car pool lane
IN THE American state of Nevada, they have a special "car pool" lane on the highway, for use only of private cars carrying passengers. A vehicle in the car pool lane has to have a minimum of two occupants.
The Nevada Highway Patrol pulled over a hearse the other day, accusing the driver of being in the car pool lane without a passenger, according to Huffington Post. Not so, the driver responded. His passenger was in a coffin in the back.
They let him off, but the Nevada Highway Patrol has now issued a statement saying that passengers in the car pool lane have to be alive.
It recalls an in incident in Maritzburg years ago when a pal of mine had been celebrating copiously at his sister's wedding when he unfortunately crashed into a hearse at an intersection in the CBD.
When the driver of the hearse got out, he was staggering badly.
It ended up in court, where a cop told the beak: "The only sober person on the scene was the corpse."
Tailpiece
A DOG is sitting in the cinema with his owner. He stares intently at the screen. He growls when the villain comes on, wags his tail when the hero appears.
An old lady has been watching. She says to the owner: "That's extraordinary behaviour by your dog."
"It is surprising. He hated the book."
Last word
Television news is like a lightning flash. It makes a loud noise, lights up everything around it, leaves everything else in darkness and then is suddenly gone.
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