Tweedledum,
Tweedledee
on world stage
THE Brits have a new prime minister. A montage is already doing the rounds of Boris Johnson and Donald Trump wearing identical dungarees and striped shirts, sporting shocks of blond and orange-blond hair. It's captioned Tweedledum and Tweedledee.
Some Brits are expressing concern that Tweedledum is offering them a "fantastic" trade deal to replace their crummy one with the EU. Concern that it could mean American chlorinated chicken ending up on British supermarket .shelves and American drug companies dominating the National Health Service.
Yes, there is an Alice in Wonderland quality to developments. When does the Mad Hatter make an entrance?
Meanwhile, British satirical magazine Private Eye combines the Downing Street drama with celebration of the 50th anniversary of the moon landing.
Its front cover has Boris Johnson waving triumphantly as he enters No 10. A speaks bubble from off-page left says: "One small step for a man …" Another speaks bubble from off-page right says: "… one giant leap in the dark for mankind."
Yes, Private Eye is the one to watch.
Mystery solved
YESTERDAY we discussed a mystery fish called the giant trevally that is apparently found in our waters and has athletic qualities that allow it to leap from the water and catch seagulls.
This was in the context of a video clip in which Sir Richard Attenborough provided commentary as a giant trevally leaped from the water to chomp an overflying gull in a blizzard of feathers. Amazing stuff.
But I was deeply puzzled when the spearfisherman who showed me the clip said giant trevallys were fairly common in our waters. He had shot one but it just bent his spear and skedaddled.
How could this be? Over the years I've been on fishing expeditions up and down our coast and never heard the giant trevally mentioned, let alone encountered one.
But my old mate Monty English – who has Springbok colours for deep-sea fishing – comes to my rescue. It's what we call a kingfish, he says. Giant trevally is the Australian name for it.
Ah, kingfish. Puzzle solved. I've caught the little blighters in the estuary at Kosi Bay and such places. Blokes like Monty catch the big blighters when they grow up and move out to sea.
"It's a big strong fish," says Monty. "I haven't heard of them chowing seagulls but I wouldn't put it past them."
Rugby rehearsal
THE eyes of the entire rugby world will be on Wellington tomorrow. Boks versus All Blacks – this will be a rehearsal for of our first pool game in the World Cup, now just weeks away.
Have things ever been more open? England, Ireland, Wales and Argentina, all of them front-runners as well as ourselves and the Kiwis.
The Bok Possibles pulled it off in fine style against the Aussies. How will the Bok Probables go against the All Blacks? The final selection for Japan could turn out pretty agonising.
The tension is tangible, the atmosphere vibrates as the damsels of the Street Shelter for the Over-Forties strum at their knickers in anticipation of supplying elastic for the fashioning of catapults for the traditional celebratory feu de joie when the streetlights are shot out.
'Erewego, 'erewego, 'erewego!
Tailpiece
THE Irish folksinger was unable to perform. She'd left her harp in Sam Frank's disco.
Last word
Too many of us look upon Americans as dollar chasers. This is a cruel libel, even if it is reiterated thoughtlessly by the Americans themselves.
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